Stupid Easy

Stop Buying That Shit!

2011-09-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

It takes less than 10 minutes to make a version of apple cinnamon oatmeal from scratch. It tastes better, it's better for you and it sure as shit looks a lot better than that sad little brown packet of instant oats and dried up apple bits. I mean really...does this guy look like he ever had an INSTANT version of anything in mind when he started his empire? I highly doubt it. His hair alone obviously takes hours.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Cinnamon Apple Pecan Oatmeal
makes 2 servings
total time 10 min

3/4 c milk (rice, soy, cow, almond whatever)
1/4 c quick cook STEEL CUT oats - not the rolled kind you're used to.
-----------------------
1/2 T butter (or coconut oil for the vegans)

1 apple cut into 1/2" cubes

1/2 t cinnamon

1 t maple syrup

1 handful chopped pecans

Bring the milk to a simmer and add oats. Cover and stir occasionally 8-9 min.

While the oats are cooking, heat the butter in a small skillet. Add apples, cinnamon and syrup. Let the mixture simmer until the oats are done. Add the pecans just before serving so they don't burn. You are amazing.

And We're Back

2011-09-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

Today's Recipe:

Stupid Easy Weight Gain and Blog Sabotage Casserole

total time 2 months
serves nobody

Ingredients:

1 dad
2 tumors
65 lbs of terrible hospice literature
several servings of food from Florida chain restaurants
97 bottles of wine
2 bottles of gin
1 bottle of Advil

Combine all ingredients and let fester until you feel awful. Then travel around for several weeks avoiding all work and emails and blogging and shaving of armpits.

Boom, done.

Guess what...my dad died. I've been out of town for what seems like years, living off different variations of shitty cheese food product and white flour. I've gained weight. I've cried a lot. I feel grody and sad.

But today I'm home in my own kitchen with my own farmers' market and a desire to get back on track. Buckle up, baby.

Tomorrow we cook.

It's Radicchulously Good

2011-07-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

Yuk yuk yuk. That was a terrible pun. Please accept the following recipe with my sincerest apologies.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Grilled Radicchio*:
makes 6-8 servings
total time 8 min

1 head of radicchio
1-2 T olive oil
3 T balsamic vinegar, reduced
coarse sea salt

Fire up the grill. While the grill is warming up, reduce the vinegar. I'm not even going to tell you how to do it. Again. We've been over this, people.

Cut the head of radicchio into 6 or 8 wedges, making sure to keep a little of the core intact on each wedge, otherwise it will fall apart.

Drizzle the wedges with olive oil and grill 3-4 min on each side. Fan out on a plate and drizzle with balsamic reduction and sprinkle with sea salt.

* adapted from a recipe by chef Don Dickman

A Massage with a Happy Ending You Can Be Proud Of

2011-06-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

I've figured out what's wrong with the world:

Iceberg lettuce gets a bin at the salad bar while the super food kale is used as decoration. It's backwards and sad just like the fact that Teresa from Real Housewives of NJ has, like, 17 horrible children and Bethenny only has 1. Bethenny is so much better, and so is kale.

Kale packs more of a nutritional punch when it's raw, but trying to eat it just like lettuce is torture. It's a bit much. You've got to massage it a bit.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Massaged Kale Salad
makes 6 servings
total time 10 min

1 bunch kale, rinsed and patted dry with paper towels, stems removed
1 can chickpeas, rinsed
1 can red kidney beans, rinsed
1 can white kidney beans, rinsed
juice of 1 lemon
1 T red wine vinegar
1 T olive oil
12 black olives, pitted, chopped
1 handful oregano, chopped

After you've washed and dried the kale, tear it into really little pieces with you hands. Next, light some candles, put on some soothing music and massage the pieces. Crush the pieces - it's ok - kale likes it a little rough.

Put the pieces in a bowl and toss with the lemon juice and vinegar. Let it sit while you drain and rinse the beans and chop the olives and oregano.

Combine everything and adjust the flavors if necessary.

Food Math

2011-05-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

My #1 Rule:

If you eat well 90% of the time, you can eat like crap 10% of the time.

Or something like that, I don't know, I'm not a math genius.

You can also apply that theory to individual meals. This salad is 90% good for you and 10% double cream brie.

If you drink a wine that is 10% alcohol, that means the other 90% is all antioxidants, right? RIGHT?? Like I said. I'm not a math genius.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Only Slightly Sinful Salad
total time 5 min

apples
brie
arugula

For the dressing:
dijon mustard
olive oil
honey

Slice an apple into bite sized pieces about 1/8" thick. Place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Top the apples with a few very thin slices of brie

Put it in the oven and set the oven to broil. Broil 2 minutes or until the cheese just gets soft (this will be quick)

Meanwhile, mix 1 part dijon with 2 parts olive oil and 1/2 part honey. Math Genius says for example:
1T dijon
1T olive oil
1/2 T honey

Toss over the arugula and place the apples and cheese on top! Viola!

Stop Buying That Shit!

2011-05-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

If you spend about 15 minutes you can make your own go-anywhere snack bars that are chock-full of great vitamins and minerals and happy fats.

Where will you take them? To the gym? to the movies? to your plastic surgery consultation to buy a better rack? Like I said, they go anywhere!

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Energy Bars
makes 10 bars
total time 15 min

1 lb medjool dates, pits removed
1 handful dried berries
5 handfuls of nuts and seeds of your choice, I used:
walnuts
cashews
slivered almonds
pistachios
pumpkin seeds
dried cranderries
2 oz. dark chocolate

Make sure all the pits are removed from the dates and run them in a food processor. This will take a few sessions as dates have a tendency to glob up. If you don't have a food processor chop them up over and over and over until they form a big sticky blob. It will take a while if you do it by hand. Just keep going.

For larger nuts (hee hee), I've found it's better to run them in a food processor until they resemble coarse sand. That's what I did for the cashews and walnuts (bottom left). If you don't have a food processor, put them in a heavy duty plastic bag and smash them with a hammer. Seriously.

Next, melt the chocolate by placing it in a heat proof bowl. Place the bowl in a pot with a small amount of boiling water making sure not to let the water get into the bowl of chocolate.

Now mix all the nuts together in a big bowl. Cut the blob of dates into 4 parts and place it in the bowl of nuts and seeds. Use your hands to mush the nuts into the dates. Add more nuts if it seems like there's enough sticky date surface area. You know when you've reached Maximum Nut Capacity when they stop sticking.

Mash the whole mess out flat on a baking sheet lined with wax paper. Now you can cut them into whatever shape you want. Drizzle with the melted chocolate and refrigerate. Once they're cool, store them in the fridge in an air tight container.

How to Win Friends & Influence People:

2011-05-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

Grill fruit.

Seriously, that's all it takes. Well, that and a nice rack.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Grilled Apricot Hors d'oeuvre
makes about 20 pieces
total time 20 min

4 apricots, ripe, but not too ripe
fresh mozzarella
2 slices of red onion (don't separate the rings)
1 T olive oil
3 T balsamic vinegar, reduced
salt, pepper
large basil leaves

Fire up the grill to med/high. Don't have a grill? Use a frying pan - you just wont get the grill marks.

Slice the apricots and onion and toss in the olive oil, salt and pepper. Set aside.

Reduce the vinegar over medium heat (about 4 min).

Grill the apricots and onions for about 3 minutes on each side, or until they get the pretty grill marks. Remove from heat.

Cut the grilled onion into smaller pieces and separate the rings so that you have approximately 2 inch long pieces.

Place a piece of onion on the basil leaf, then a piece of fresh mozzarella, then the apricot, then drizzle with the balsamic reduction.

Oh Snap!

2011-05-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung in a big way here in LA LA land. April showers (and, well, April) are over. Birds are singing, sun is shining and the farmers' markets are exploding with sugar snap peas. Additionally, sangria is flowing, horrible chain restaurants are overflowing with prom dates and Real Housewives of New Jersey starts in just two short weeks. All is right with the world.

OK let's do this:

Stupid Easy Sugar Snap Pea Salad
total time 10 min
makes 4-6 servings

For the sauce:
1 t safflower oil
1/2 sweet onion, diced
1 T ginger, minced
2/3 c coconut milk
medium bunch of cilantro, stems and leaves roughly chopped
1 or 2 t green curry paste
zest and juice from 1 lime
salt, to taste
---------------------------------
1 cup sweet corn kernels
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 lb sugar snap peas, blanched for 1 min

Heat oil in a large sauce pan over medium heat. Brown the onions, then add the rest of the sauce ingredients. Simmer for 2 minutes, then remove from heat.

Blanch the sugar snap peas (boil for 1 minute, then run under cool water).

Once the sauce has cooled for a few minutes, puree it in your little food processor.

Add the sauce back to the pan over med heat. Add the corn and pepper and simmer until the peppers are tender (about 3 minutes).

Meanwhile, slice the peas on a diagonal and stir in to the sauce. Serve warm or cold.

Spring Break!

2011-04-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hi darlings! It's Spring Break time, and guess where I'm headed......here's a clue:

TOTALLY not me. My bikini was black.

That's right. Florida.

I'm going to see my dad, Jerry. When he's not too busy kicking cancer's ass, he works in his amazing garden. I'll post some recipes straight from the garden next week. In the meantime, here's a recipe from my dad:

Worth the Garlic Breath

2011-04-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Just made up a really delicious mock Caesar salad. Why "mock"? Because I left out the anchovies. Why leave out the anchovies? Because hairy, greasy fish just ain't my thang.

OK, let's do this:

Fishless Caesar
total time 5 min

for the dressing:
1/4 c mayo
2 t mustard
3 cloves garlic, minced
juice from 1 lemon
1 t soy sauce
cracked black pepper
---------------------------
Romaine lettuce, chopped
these croutons
handful of parmesan cheese, shredded

Combine the dressing ingredients and toss over lettuce and croutons. Sprinkle with cheese. (Were these instructions necessary?.....)

I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours.

2011-04-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

Put your underwear back on, weird-o.

I went downstairs to the farmers' market today. Is there a farmers' market where you live? What do you buy?

Send pictures to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com - tell me where you're from and what's in season where you are!


Fresh mint, oregano, basil, thai broccoli, thai basil, zucchini, straw flowers and carnations

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Blueberry Muffins

2011-04-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

These are SO. GOOD.

I did the math. It breaks down to 1 T sugar per muffin. Not exactly healthy, but much better than other muffin recipes. Besides, these muffins are for the weekend. Health takes a break on the weekend in our house. Wine consumption, however, never sleeps.

OK, let's do this:

Blueberry Muffins
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes 12 muffin
total time 35 min

5 T unsalted butter , softened
2/3 c sugar
1 large egg
3/4 c full fat plain yogurt
1 T lemon zest
----------------------------------
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 c blueberries, fresh or frozen (if frozen, simply rinse off any ice)

Preheat oven to 375ºF. Line a muffin tin with 12 paper liners.

Combine butter and sugar in your little food processor and run until fluffy. Add egg, then yogurt and lemon. Transfer to a mixing bowl.

Combine dry ingredients with a sifter or whisk. Slowly mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients.

Fill muffin tins 3/4 of the way. Bake for 25 min. Enjoy with butter and coffee.

How to Keep Your Car Seats Looking Great

2011-03-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

It's approximately 147ºF here in LA. All I'm craving is sangria and cold, hearty salads.

I was going to do an orzo salad, but realized I didn't have any orzo and couldn't imagine getting back in the car. Let's just work with what we have so I don't leave crotch-sweat stains on the upholstery of my car.

OK, let's do this:

Mediterranean Quinoa Salad
makes about 5 cups
total time 20 min

1 cup quinoa, rinsed thoroughly
1 3/4 c water
--------------------------
for the dressing:
3 T olive oil
2 T red wine vinegar
zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic (I used Gerraro's Marinated Greek Garlic)
1/2 small red onion, diced small
salt & pepper, to taste
--------------------------
2 handfuls fresh parsley, chopped roughly
1 handful fresh oregano, chopped roughly
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup artichoke hearts
1/2 cup roasted bell pepper, chopped
1/2 cup black olives, pitted & chopped
1/2 cup feta, crumbled (optional)

Boil the water, add quinoa, reduce heat and simmer about 10 min. Once it's done, place it in a bowl and put it in the freezer while you prep the other stuff. Stir it a couple times in the freezer to help it cool faster.

Combine the dressing ingredients (you can just do this in the same bowl you're serving it in). Add the cooled quinoa and stir in the remaining ingredients.

Mango Salsa

2011-03-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

It's really hard to come up with anything funny to say about mangoes. Chris Kattan tried and look what happened:

Nobody likes you, Chris Kattan. You either, J. Lo.

But Mango Salaso...That we like. A lot.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Mango Salsa
makes 3 cups
total time 5 min

2 ripe mangoes, peeled, cubed
1/2 serrano chili, minced
juice of 1 lime
handful cilantro, chopped
1/2 small red onion, diced small
salt, pepper, to taste

Combine all ingredients. Serve with tortilla chips and margaritas, and without Chris Kattan.

Gee Your Pee Smells Terrific!

2011-03-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

Asparagus is one of my favorite veggies in the whole world. It only takes a few minutes to make. Plus it makes your pee smell which can be a great party trick or conversation starter.

OK, let's do this:

Poached eggs over asparagus
total time 10 min

1 t white vinegar
1 T olive oil
1 handful asparagus, woody ends trimmed
salt, to taste
bread for toast
1 egg
1 T parmesan cheese, shredded

Bring a pot of water plus 1 teaspoon of plain vinegar to a boil.

Heat the oil in a pan and add asparagus. Cook, stirring frequently, until tender (about 4 min). Add salt to taste.

While asparagus is cooking, make toast and poach the egg.

To poach an egg, simply turn the heat on the water down so that it's still boiling, but not a big, crazy rolling boil. Crack an egg into a ladle. Stir the water with a spoon so it spins around like a toilet flushing. Drop in the egg while the water is spinning. Now leave it alone. Cook for 3-4 min.

Remove the egg with a slotted spoon and place on top of the asparagus. Sprinkle with a little shredded parmesan or asiago cheese and serve with toast.

I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours.

2011-03-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

Onions, romaine, asparagus, Thai broccoli, LOTS of cabbage, garlic, lemons, daisies and fresia for the bathroom.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: If Brownies and Cheesecake had a Baby....

2011-03-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

I'd happily be serving 25 years for kidnapping.

OK, let's do this:

Cheesecake Brownies
makes 16 brownies
prep time 15 min, bake time 45 min

For the brownie part:
1/2 c (1 stick) butter, cut into small pieces
12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1/2 t vanilla
2/3 c all purpose flour
pinch of salt

-----------------------

For the cheesecake part:
8 oz cream cheese
1/3 c sugar
1 large egg yolk
1/2 t vanilla

Place the cream cheese in a small oven proof container. Put it in a cold oven and turn the oven to 325ºF. The cream cheese will gently soften as the oven preheats.

Melt the chocolate and butter in a double boiler, stirring frequently. Once it's smooth, remove from the heat and stir in the sugar, eggs, vanilla, salt and then the flour. Pour into a greased 8"X8" baking pan.

Next, mix the softened cream cheese with the remaining ingredients. Pour the cheesecake mixture over the brownie mixture. Drag a chopstick back and forth across the whole mess until you get a nice marbled look.

Bake for 45-50 min, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Manicotti...kind of....

2011-03-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

This is a great entree idea for that pain-in-the ass friend we all have who's suddenly decided she can't eat gluten. You know, the one who sometimes reeks of gin and cigarettes and shame...yeah - your big problem is gluten, sweetie...

Eh, well...you know what they say about ~~gin~~ glass houses....

OK, let's do this:

Easier Than It Looks Gluten Free Manicotti
makes 6 servings
prep time 20 min, bake time 35 min

Filling:
1 T olive oil
1/2 red onion, diced
3 handfuls spinach
2 cloves garlic, minced
-----------------
8 oz container ricotta
1 cup shredded parmesan, plus extra for sprinkling
1 t dried oregano
1/4 t salt
1 egg
-----------------
Instead of noodles:
2 large zucchinis sliced very thinly on your little hand slicer
-----------------
marinara sauce, jarred or homemade
fresh basil for garnish

Preheat the oven to 375ºF

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat and cook the spinach and garlic for about 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Allow it to cool for a couple minutes and combine it with the second group of ingredients.

For the zucchini, it helps to have a sushi mat, but it's not essential. You can get sushi mats at Whole Foods or Asian markets. You can also just use a place mat covered with parchment or wax paper .

Arrange the zucchini slices so they overlap and form a rectangle. Double up to cover any weak spots :

Add about 1/2 cup of the filling in a horizontal line across the bottom of the zucchini.

Carefully roll the whole thing up:

Pour about a cup of marinara sauce in the bottom of the baking dish. Arrange the rolls and bake uncovered for 30 minutes. Top with a little sauce and shredded parmesan and crank the oven up to broil for 5-10 minutes, or until cheese is a melted and golden. Garnish with chopped basil. Or gin.

Dink dink da dink dink dink. Dink dink da dink dink dink. Dink dink da dink dink dink diiiiink!

2011-03-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

That was me playing "Chopsticks!" Speaking of chopsticks - here's how to make a huge batch of stir-fry stuff that you can save for many, many meals.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Stir-fry for Days
makes a buttload
prep time 10 min, cook time 5 min

You will need one super-huge or two pretty big dishes to hold all the veggies you cut up. I used a huge salad bowl and a large baking dish. Whatever works.

For the sauce:

1/2 c low sodium soy sauce
2 T sesame oil
2 T rice vinegar
1 T minced garlic
1 T minced ginger
crushed red pepper to taste

For the veggies, you can use just about anything you've ever seen in a stir-fry cut into bite sized pieces. I used:

1 pineapple (I would DEFINITELY use pineapple)
3 handfuls broccoli
1 red onion
2 handfuls mushrooms
2 carrots
1 red bell pepper
1 small green cabbage

I also added baked tofu

Combine all the sauce ingredients and stir to combine.
Cut everything into bite sized pieces and pour the sauce over it. Toss with your hands to make sure everything gets coated. That's why I used two dishes. I transferred the veg from one bowl to the other to mix it.

At this point you can put it into containers and save it for later in the fridge or freezer. If you're ready to eat now, use a wok or large frying pan over high-ish heat, stirring frequently for about 5 min, or until veggies are tender. Serve with brown rice or quinoa.

You say "Tomato," I say "Shut up and eat"

2011-03-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

After 11 grueling days of winter, I'm finally starting to see really beautiful tomatoes at my little farmers' market. You know what that means?...... It's caprese time, bitches!

OK, let's do this:

Mozzarealla Caprese
total time 5 min

really good tomatoes, sliced
really good fresh mozzarella, sliced and then torn into bite size pieces
roasted bell peppers (from a jar is fine), cut into bite sized pieces
basil, chopped
olive oil for drizzling
3-4 T balsamic vinegar
salt & pepper

Heat the balsamic in a pan over low heat until it steams - allow to reduce for a few minutes and remove from heat.

Meanwhile, arrange the cheese, tomatoes, peppers and basil in alternating layers. Drizzle with the olive oil and vinegar reduction. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Sit back and enjoy the fact that you finally found a use for that weirdly shaped plate you registered for.

Stop Buying That Shit!

2011-03-10T15:51:00.000-08:00

A lot of things make me crazy: leaf blowers, the down time between seasons of True Blood....but what really makes me batty is to see people buying things that are so easy to make. Like croutons.

It takes almost no time or ingredients (or even skills) to make great croutons, but people always buy them. Sure, ready made boxed stuff is convenient, but it also contains crap like corn syrup. Just make 'em yourself. It's a great way to use that bread that's a little too stale or that toast you started to make and then forgot about because you thought you heard that Real Housewives of New York starts tonight and you had to drop everything and run to the TV to make sure it was set to record and then you were distraught because it's actually not until April 7th and that's really far away......

OK, let's do this:

Garlic Croutons
hands on time 2 min, total time 15 min

4 cups bread cut or torn into bite sized pieces
1/4 c olive oil
1/2 t garlic powder
1/2 t dried basil
1/2 t dried oregano

Preheat oven to 350ºF. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and stir to combine. Bake on a cookie sheet until crunchy (about 15 min), turning once.

Warm Potato Salad

2011-03-07T15:23:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't noticed, I've been crazy busy lately. Too busy to cook, too busy to blog and definitely too busy to go grocery shopping.

This lack of time is only partially due to the premieres of two Real Housewives seasons. OK, fine, it's mostly due to that, but I also went back to school.

The Orange County premiere was super good, so I didn't find the time to shop today. However, thanks to the fact that nothing interesting ever happens on Real Housewives of Miami, I finally have the time to cook and blog. The problem is I'm finding myself with nothing in my fridge but booze and condiments. And potatoes. Lots of little Dutch yellow potatoes.

Looks like it's cocktails and potato salad for lunch - put on your Evil Eye ball cap and get crackin'!

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Warm Potato Salad
makes 8 servings
total time 10 min

3 lbs little Dutch potatoes, cut in half

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1/4 c mayo
2 T mustard
2 T chives, chopped
2 T capers
pinch crushed red pepper
1/2 t paprika
salt, pepper

Boil the potatoes for about 6 minutes, or until fork tender. Drain and set aside.

Place the remaining ingredients in a bowl and stir to combine thoroughly. Pour over the potatoes and stir. Serve warm or cold.

Put THAT on your bread and eat it.

2011-02-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

Bread is delicious. Seriously. Freaking. Delicious. Rather than covering the bread in butter (also delicious), try roasting some garlic and herbs and veggies and eating that on the bread instead. It's got this really great rustic look.

You can roast the regular way - high temp, or the slow way - low temp for a million hours. I decided to split the difference and see what happened. Spoiler alert: it was yummy!

OK, let's do this:

Roasted Stuff for Bread
total time 40 min

tomatoes (on the vine is cuter)
shallots, quartered
rosemary
garlic, sliced thinly
olive oil
salt, pepper to taste

crusty bread, sliced and toasted
balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 300ºF.

Place the shallots, tomatoes and rosemary in a baking dish lined with parchment paper. Toss in the garlic, drizzle the whole mess generously with olive oil. Add salt and pepper. Bake for 40 min - 1 hour or until the skins of the tomatoes split, but before they turn to mush.

Serve with fabulous bread and balsamic vinegar.

Boarding for Breast Cancer

2011-02-14T17:48:00.000-08:00

I just started contributing to Boarding for Breast Cancer this month! Here's the recipe I posted for them. Check out their site to see all the wonderful things they do.

Nothing says, “I love you,” quite like cruciferous vegetables. Stay with me. Cruciferous veggies (broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower) contain more anti-cancer phytochemicals than any other type of veggie.

So this Valentine’s day, don’t just shred on the slopes. Shred the Love in the kitchen, too with this Stupid Easy recipe for a warm slaw topped with burrata. Cruciferous veggies show that you care – and also that you love somebody so much that you can overlook a little farting now and then. It’s so romantic.

OK, let’s do this:

Stupid Easy Warm Slaw with Burrata Cheese
Makes 4 servings
Total time 15 minutes

2 red radishes, rinsed and stems removed
2 T olive oil, divided
½ red onion, sliced
¼ head of purple cabbage, shredded
12-ish Brussels sprouts, shredded
2 balls of burrata cheese
2T balsamic vinegar
chives, chopped for garnish

Cut the radishes into hearts the way I showed you last week

To shred the cabbage and Brussels sprouts use a food processor with a shredding attachment if you have one. Otherwise use the wide slice side of a box cheese grater, being careful not to shred off all your knuckle skin.

Keep the sprouts and the cabbage separate. Cooking them separately will prevent the purple cabbage from turning everything else purple. The only reason for doing it this way is cosmetic. If you’re in a rush, it’s fine to cook them together.

Heat 1 T oil in a pan over med/high heat. Add the onions and sauté for 2 minutes. Add the cabbage and sauté until soft (about 4 minutes), stirring frequently. Transfer to a bowl and set aside.

Using the same pan, heat the remaining 1 T oil and sauté the sprouts until soft (about 4 minutes), stirring frequently.

Combine the sprouts and cabbage and place a heap in the center of a plate. Top with half a ball of burrata. Add salt to taste. Add the radish hearts, drizzle with the balsamic reduction and sprinkle with chopped chives. Love on a plate! Serve with toasted bread.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Croissant Bread Pudding

2011-02-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

I have been talking about making croissant bread pudding forever, but couldn't make it until I had an event to attend where I could share it (Thanks, Super Bowl !! ). Otherwise it's just me, the Real Housewives and a warm baking dish full of everything delicious.

OK, let's do this:

Croissant Bread Pudding
makes 16 servings
total time 35 min

1 T butter for greasing
4 big croissants
2 c heavy cream
4 egg yolks
1/2 c sugar
1/4 c Nutella (I just found a great organic, fair trade copycat version at Whole Foods)
handful sliced almonds
handful small dark chocolate chunks

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

Grease a large glass baking dish. Tear the croissants into bite size pieces and place in the baking dish.

Meanwhile heat the cream in a small saucepan over low heat. Don't allow to boil. When tiny bubbles form around the edges, remove from heat.

While the cream is heating, whisk the egg yolks, sugar and nutella together. Slowly whisk in the warm cream. Pour the whole mixture over the croissants. Add the almonds and chocolate and mix thoroughly with your hands. It will be very moist. Bake 25 min.

Dear Lanie J-

2011-02-10T11:14:00.000-08:00

What's better than old-fashioned paper valentines?

-Super Romantic

Dearest SR-

Radishes. Duh.

Stay easy,
Lanie J

Toss them in this salad.

The Perfect Marriage

2011-02-08T11:43:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while savory food and sweet food collide in a head on collision at the corner of Delicious and Fucking Awesome in the center of Tastytown. If you Google Street View it you'll find me standing on the corner with a fork in each hand and a bottle of rosé in my camel pack.

OK, let's do this:

Strawberry Balsamic Salad
makes 2 servings
total time 5 min

4-6 strawberries, sliced

2 T balsamic vinegar

1 handful toasted almonds

2 large handfuls of arugula

2 T goat cheese, crumbled

1 T ish olive oil

cracked black pepper

Heat the balsamic and strawberries in a pan and gently simmer for 3-4 minutes. Pour into a bowl and cool in the freezer while you prep the other stuff.

Toast the almonds in a dry pan over med-high heat. This will only take about 45 seconds. Remove from heat immediately.

Place the arugula on the plates, sprinkle with goat cheese, almonds and olive oil. Next drizzle with the strawberries and balsamic and add some cracked black pepper. Enjoy your stay in Tastytown.

Change your life for less than $100

2011-02-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

You can literally work your fingers to the bone with this box grater (you can also shred and slice veggies and cheese).

Trudeau 4-sided Cheese Grater $12.95 plus shipping on Amazon. Photo from Amazon.com

It Doesn't Suck...

2011-02-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

This recipe is tweaked and adapted from Natural Health Magazine. It'll keep for a week in the fridge, and makes a much better midnight snack than cereal.

"Lanie's cooking: At least it's better than cereal!" Hmm....perhaps I should hire a marketing person....

OK, let's do this:
Curry Apple Quinoa Salad
makes 6-8 servings
total time 20 min

1 cup dry quinoa, rinsed 
2 cups water
----------------------------
1 tablespoon curry powder 
1 teaspoon cumin
 1/8 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste 
pinch of salt
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar 
1 teaspoon grated lime zest 
juice of 2 limes
---------------------------
2 medium carrots, shredded on a cheese grater. Don't have a cheese grater? Use a potato peeler to peel slivers, stack 'em up and cut them in half lengthwise.

1 15 ounce can of chickpeas rinsed and drained
 3 organic green onions, thinly sliced 
2 Granny Smith apples, halved, cored and chopped 
handful toasted pumpkin seeds (toast them in a dry pan - it'll only take about 30 seconds) 

1 handful parsley, chopped
1 handful cilantro, chopped  Salt and pepper to taste

Bring the water to a boil in a covered saucepan. Add quinoa, reduce heat, cover and simmer until water is absorbed (about 10 minutes). Transfer to a bowl and refrigerate.

While quinoa is cooking and then cooling, combine the second group of ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

Once the quinoa is cooled, stir in the third group of ingredients, then stir in the dressing. Eat as a midnight snack. Unless you're a gremlin.

When prepping a lot of ingredients, it can be helpful to prep them and set them up in separate bowls. It's called mis en place which is French for "See, I went to culinary school!" It makes you look professional and gives you a smug sense of accomplishment as well as 10.000 extra dirty dishes.

That's Right...Balls.

2011-01-31T11:44:00.000-08:00

So my dad is sick and I've been really sad about it and it's made me not want to cook, much less write about cooking. The ironic thing is my dad is the one who got me interested in cooking in the first place, so my not cooking probably bugs the crap out of him.

I've decided to start cooking, but still bug the crap out of my dad by telling you how to make veggie meat balls, and then telling you how I totally snicker every time I type "balls." Heh heh. Balls. Also I said "crap" twice so I'm probably grounded now, but it was totally worth it. The way I see it, going through chemo has to be better if one has something to look forward to - like yelling at one's potty-mouthed daughter. You're welcome, Dad.

OK, let's do this:

Veggie "Meat" Balls (Pppfffha! Ha!)
makes 20 balls (tee heee!)
hands on time 5 min, total time 25 min

1 clove garlic, minced
1 package of baked tofu, savory flavor - NOT teriyaki
couple pinches of dried herbs of your choice - I made spaghetti, so I used Italian-y herbs: dried basil, oregano, parsley
2 eggs
2/3 c panko breadcrumbs

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

Pulse the garlic and tofu in your little food processor. If you still haven't ordered it you can mash it all up by hand, but you run the risk of straining your wine-glass-lifting muscles. Safety first, friends.

Transfer to a bowl and stir in herbs, eggs and breadcrumbs. Roll the mixture into 20 ping pong ball sized balls (haaa!). Bake on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper for 10 minutes, roll them around a bit, then bake for another 10 minutes.

Dear Lanie J-

2011-01-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

How can I dress up shitty boxed mac 'n' cheese?

-Hopeless Bachelor

Well, HB, I hate to say it, but boxed mac 'n' cheese might just be the very reason you're a bachelor in the first place......lemme see what I can do.

Stay Easy,

Lanie J

OK, let's do this:

Not-so-hopeless Mac 'n' Cheese
serves 4 (or 2 if you're famished from passionate love making ignited by this oh-so-romantic recipe)
total time 10 min

1 box of Whole Foods' Shells & Cheese
2 handfuls broccoli florets
1 handful spinach
2 T butter
4 T sour cream (the box calls for milk - use sour cream or half & half instead)
pinch cayenne
salt, pepper, to taste
1 handful asiago or parmesan cheese, shredded

Boil the shells for 5 min. Add broccoli and boil for exactly 1 1/2 more minutes. Drain and pour back into the pot. Stir in cheese packet that comes with the box, butter, sour cream and spinach, cayenne, salt and papper. Pour into a baking dish and top with shredded cheese. Broil until cheese gets bubbly (2 min).

Look What Y'all Did!

2011-01-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

Here's what some of my fabulous friends have made Lanie J sniffs, wipes proud tear from corner of eye.

Email pictures of what you make to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com - being featured on this blog is pretty much guaranteed to help you get lucky.

Lisa P. made the Jay and Lynn Quiche!

Ana made Black Bean Soup!

Susan made Black Bean Soup and Quesadillas. She's the winner, clearly.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Double Chocolate Ginger Cookies

2011-01-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

This recipe is adapted from Gingerbread by Jennifer Linder McGlinn. I made a whole bunch of these for the holidays and gave them to friends, which is just another reason you should totally try to be my friend.

Keys to becoming my friend:

-Walk my dog when I'm out of town or on a bender
-Do the dishes when I cook (this is also the key to becoming my husband)
-Make my blog famous

OK, let's do this:
Double Chocolate Ginger Cookies
total time 20 min

3/4 cup all pupose flour
1/4 cocoa powder
1 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
2 t ground ginger
1 t ground cinnamon
--------------------------
1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temp
8 oz kind of dark chocolate bar chopped into little bits
3/4 c granulated sugar
1/4 c packed brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 t vanilla
-------------------------
confectioners' sugar for rolling

Preheat the oven to 350ºF

Whisk together the first group of ingredients and set aside.

Fill a small pot halfway-ish with water over med/high heat. Put a heat proof bowl on top of the pot. Put 1/2 the chocolate and all the butter in the bowl and stir until it's all smooth and melty.

Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then stir in eggs, vanilla and remaining chocolate bits.

Slowly stir the flour into the chocolate mixture. The recipe says to allow the dough to cool in the fridge for two hours. I don't have that kind of cookie patience, so I stuck it in the freezer for 1/2 an hour and it turned out just fine.

Once it's cooled, roll little balls of dough in the powdered sugar. Place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for 10-12 minutes.

Change your life for less than $100

2011-01-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

This Oxo salad spinner will spin your lettuce right round, baby right round and get it nice and dry so your fabulous salad dressing actually sticks to the lettuce. Open up your lovin' arms and buy it now!

Oxo Salad Spinner photo from Amazon.com

Oxo Salad Spinner available an Amazon for $26.33 with free shipping

Quesadilla Blasphemy

2011-01-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

I know that quesadillas are generally just solid blobs of colon-blocking cheese (hungry yet?). Don't get me wrong - they taste awesome - but I can't help but think there's got to be a better, kinda healthier way. There has to be room in there* somewhere for some sort of redeeming fiber.

*"there" is referring to room in the quesadilla and in your colon! Yeah, I went there**.

**In this case "there" definitely is NOT referring to your colon (I've never been there**, but after enough wine.......I suppose anything's possible)

OK, let's do this:

Good Stuff Quesadillas
total time 15 min

1 T oil
1/2 onion, chopped
1 zucchini, sliced thinly
1 T taco seasoning OR a little paprika, chili powder, oregano & cayenne, etc.

handful corn kernels
hot sauce, optional
1 can black beans, drained, rinsed
---------------------------------
2 handfuls queso fresco or cojita cheese
1 handful shredded jack and/or cheddar
---------------------------------
butter
flour tortillas
cilantro, chopped for garnish (optional)

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat. Saute the onion for 2 minutes, add the zucchini and spices and saute for 2 more minutes. If using frozen corn, add it to the pan now to thaw it. Remove from heat and stir in black beans and cheese.

Butter one side of the tortillas. Place a tortilla butter side down in a pan on medium heat. Add the mixture to one side and fold the other side over. Carefully flip and cook the other side. Slice in cute triangles. FYI- any extra filling is delicious with tortilla chips.

Miso Hungry!

2011-01-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

These dumplings in miso broth make a great starter or light meal. Light meal....who came up with that? I think I hate that term. Just say snack, jerk.

This is a great snack. There.

OK, let's do this:

Sweet Potato Dumplings in Miso
hands on time 30 min, total time 1 hr

6-ish sweet potatoes

1T oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 green onions, chopped
1 shallot, minced
2 T ginger, minced

wonton wrappers
1 egg, beaten
1 T oil
water

white or yellow miso paste
more chopped green onions and sesame seeds for garnish (optional)

Set oven to 425ºF and roast potatoes on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper until mushy. You don't have to wait for the oven to preheat - just throw 'em in.

Meanwhile, heat the oin in a pan over medium heat. Sautee the shallot, onion, garlic and ginger for a few minutes, then set aside.

Puree the garlic mixture with the potatoes in your little food processor until smooth.

Place a little dollop of the mixture on the center of the wonton wrapper, dip your finger in some egg and use the egg like glue to paint the edges of the wonton wrapper. Fold it in half diagonally and pinch the edges shut by pressing a fork on it.

You can make them extra cute if you pinch the far corners together too.

Put a pot of water on to almost boil.

Once you've exhausted yourself pinching wontons, heat a little oil in a pan over medium heat. Add the wontons to the pan with a little water, Cover and steam for 6 minutes.

Put some hot (not boiling) water into bowls. Stir in about 1tsp of miso paste per cup of water. Add a few dumplings and green onions. Yay - fancy snack time!!!

Was Your New Year's Resolution to Eat More Potatoes?

2011-01-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

It was??!! Awesome! I've got you covered.

This is my dad's recipe for Dirty Potatoes.

They only look dirty - unless, I suppose, you cook them in the nude or something, you filthy animal, you.

OK, let's do this:

Jerry's Dirty Potatoes
total time 15 min

12 new potatoes, skin on
1/3-1/2 stick butter or 1/4 c olive oil, your choice
1/2 onion, diced
2-3 T of some kind of dried spice blend, like a grilling blend or Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
salt and pepper, to taste

Bring a big pot of water to a boil. Cut the potatoes into bite-size chunks and boil until fork tender (6-10 min).

Meanwhile, heat the butter or oil in a pan and saute the onion. Drain the potatoes and add them to the pan. Sprinkle the seasoning throughout until all the potatoes look dirty. Stick to your resolution!

Jonesing

2010-12-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

I feel like it's been ages since I've eaten anything wrapped in pie dough. That is simply unacceptable. I really need something in pie dough. Well, I mean, I don't need it... I could quit eating it any time I wanted. Really.

Basically, veggie pot pie is one pie dough filled with veggies in a sort of gravy-type stuff, then covered with another pie dough. The gravy-type stuff will develop from the half and half, butter and potatoes mixing. You can use any veggies that taste good to you. Stuff that cooks really quickly (like zucchini and broccoli) can be cooked separately then added into the mixture right before baking. Below is just the way I do it - pick out whatever veggies you like or have on hand - they just have to be a little tender before you bake them.

OK let's do this:

Veggie Pot Pie
makes a 9" pot pie
hands on time 30 min, bake time 45min

2 prepared pie crusts, thawed
2 russet potatoes, 1/2″ dice, skin on
1/2 stick butter, give or take
1/2 red onion, diced
1 c mushrooms, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 stalks celery, diced
2 carrots, diced
1/2 c peas, fresh or frozen & thawed
1 T dried thyme
1 T fresh rosemary, chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
-------------------------
1/2 c zucchini
1 c broccoli
1/2 c -ish half and half
-------------------------
One egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 375ºF
Boil potatoes for about 6 minutes or until slightly firmer than you’d want if you were to eat them right away.

Heat 2 T butter in a large skillet. Saute onions 3 min. Add carrots, mushrooms, garlic, celery, peas and saute until carrots are tender. Add thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper. Turn off heat.

Boil broccoli and zucchini for EXACTLY 90 seconds. Add broccoli mixture to the carrot mixture.
Add half and half and remaining butter. Stir until butter is melted. Adjust seasoning.

Place one pie shell in a pie pan and puncture with a fork a few times. Pour in filling

Add the top pie shell and cut slits (or an adorable message) into the top to allow steam to escape. Wash the top with a beaten egg. Bake approx 35-40 minutes until top is golden.

Black Olive Tapenade

2010-12-27T15:12:00.000-08:00

This tapenade is so ridiculously easy, but it seems fancy enough to turn an evening of playing spades in your living room into a sophisticated soiree. Just the act sitting next to a bowl of beautiful tapenade can make your husband's idiot friends seem like perfect gentlemen who would never dream repeatedly leave the toilet seat up in your bathroom.....you know who you are.

OK, let's do this:

Black Olive Tapenade
makes about 2 cups
total time 3 minutes

1 14 oz jar of pitted black olives, rinsed
3 cloves garlic (I use Gerraro's Greek garlic available here)
1 t dried oregano
1/4 c-ish olive oil
1 t vinegar or liquid from the jar of garlic

Process everything in your little food processor. Serve with toast. Put the seat down.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Say "Goat Cheese!"

2010-12-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

Here's how to turn a regular old goat cheese log into a holiday masterpiece:

Step 1: Buy a log of goat cheese

Step 2: Roll it in a bunch of stuff*

*recommended "stuff" includes:

cranberries, pistachios, spices

NOT recommended stuff includes:

screws, dust, broken glass, cat litter

OK, let's do this:

Festive Log of Awesomeness
makes 1 log
total time 3 min

handful shelled pistachios (or pecans or walnuts or almonds)
handful dried cranberries
pinch cayenne
1/8 t cinnamon
pinch salt
1 log of goat cheese

Place the nuts and cranberries on a cutting board and chop into tiny bits. Sprinkle with the spices and then roll the cheese in it, maintaining the log shape. Serve with crackers. Warmly accept compliments on your culinary acumen while subtly making clear that said compliments are in no way an acceptable substitute for actual holiday gifts.

Stupid Easy, Now With 20% More Adorableness!

2010-12-21T19:20:00.000-08:00

Just when you were thinking to yourself, "Could this blog possibly get any more darling?!" I throw a picture of my dog in the mix.

We ran out of fancy food for the dog so I decided to make her a fancy dinner myself. High quality dog food is best, but a home cooked meal for the pooch every once in a while is A-OK.

OK, let's do this

Once in a Blue Moon Dog Food
makes 1 serving for my 42lb terrier mix
total time 4 min

1 T olive oil
1 small handful frozen peas
1 small handful carrots, chopped
1 egg
2 t flax seed meal

Combine all ingredients in a pan and cook until egg is done. ALLOW TO COOL BEFORE SERVING. You are so talented - even your dog thinks so.

Breakfast Bribery

2010-12-20T12:09:00.000-08:00

Huevos Rancheros is the husband's favorite, so I make it whenever I have a few extra minutes in the morning - or whenever I want to talk him into getting a new couch.

OK, let's do this:

Huevos Rancheros
makes enough sauce for 3 servings
total time 20 min

3 T oil
1/2 onion, diced
1/2 T oregano
1 t cumin
1/8 t cayenne
14 oz can diced tomatoes, drained a little
1 14 oz can black beans, drained & rinsed
----------------------
tortillas (I use whole wheat flour, but corn is good too)
eggs, cooked how you like 'em (I do over medium)
handful shredded jack and cheddar cheese
handful chopped cilantro
sour cream

Heat 1 T oil in a pot and fry the onions for 3 minutes. Add the spices and cook for anther minute. Add the tomatoes and black beans and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer.

Heat 1 T oil in a large pan. Toast the tortilla for a couple minutes on each side.

While the tortillas are toasting, make the eggs how you like them.

Place the eggs on the tortillas, then top with black bean mixture, cheese, cilantro and sour cream.

Serve with a sharp knife - the tortillas can be difficult to cut, plus the knife comes in handy when bargaining for that new couch.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Nutella Custard and Creme Brulee

2010-12-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

I like a dessert that involves bourbon. Hell, I like anything that involves bourbon.

1 c whipping cream
2 T sugar
-----------------------
2 egg yolks
1 t bourbon vanilla extract (available at Whole Foods)
1/3 c Nutella

Preheat oven to 300ºF.

Bring a pot of water to a boil.

In another pot heat the cream and 2 T sugar until tiny bubbles form around the edges.

While the cream is heating, beat the egg yolks, vanilla and Nutella. Slowly pour in the hot cream.

Pour the mixture into 4 shallow ramekins and place the ramekins in a baking dish. Carefully pour the boiling water into the baking dish (NOT the ramekins) until it comes about halfway up the height of the ramekin.

Cover the whole mess with foil and bake until not jiggly (about 45 minutes). Refrigerate for 30 min.

Now you can decide if you want the crispy burnt sugar top of classic creme brulee or if you want custard with whipped topping. I couldn't decide, so I made both. With caramelized bananas. So it's healthy.

Classic creme brulee topping:
Sprinkle a generous amount of sugar on top of the baked and chilled custard. Burn it with your new blowtorch!

Caramelized bananas:
Slice some bananas, sprinkle with sugar and fry in a hot, non-stick pan.

Whipped topping:
Skip the burnt sugar part and simply whip some whipping cream with some vanilla. You know what's better than regular vanilla? BOURBON vanilla! Bourbon anything is pretty much better than regular anything, no?

Dear Lanie J-

2010-12-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

Hi Lanie J.

Someone once showed me how to make baked squash with wild rice and dried cranberries but I was mildly inebriated at the time and can't remember the recipe. Do you have any good baked squash recipes?

-Lynn

Dear Lynn-

Thanks for the email. You have the major ingredients down: squash, wild rice, dried cranberries, inebriation, so you're doing better than you thought.

Stay easy,
Lanie J

OK, let's do this:

Stuffed Squash with Wild Rice Pilaf
makes 4
hands on time 20 min, total time 1hr

1/3 c olive oil
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t cayenne
1 T dried thyme
2 t dried sage
2 delicata squashes, sliced lengthwise and seeded

-------------------
1/3 c wild rice
--------------------
1/2 onion, diced
head of Swiss Chard, stems removed
handful sliced almonds
handful dried cranberries
salt, to taste

Preheat oven to 425ºF. Bring 2/3 c of water to a boil.

Combine oil and spices and rub a little on the flesh of each of the squash halves. Place the squash on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake until fork tender (bout 30 min). When they're cool enough to handle, cut in half crosswise.

Once the water is boiling, add rice, cover and reduce to a simmer. Cook until rice is done (about 20 min).

Meanwhile, heat a large saucepan and add the remaining spiced oil. cook the onion for about 3 minutes, then add the chard and cook until it's wilted.

Combine cooked rice, chard, almonds and cranberries. Add salt and adjust seasoning if necessary. Spoon the rice mixture into the squash quarters.

Change your life for less than $100

2010-12-15T14:59:00.000-08:00

Heh heh...FIRE! FIRE!

photo from Amazon.com

BonJour Brushed Aluminum Chef's Torch - Makes a great baby shower gift!

$27.99 with free shipping on Amazon

Peasant, Schmeasant

2010-12-14T13:53:00.000-08:00

Just like Pabst Blue Ribbon and the Jersey Shore, the once only-for-trashy-people polenta is enjoying it's time in the lime light.

OK, let's do this:

Polizzi Polenta
hands on time 25 min, total time 1 hour

1 c ground polenta
3 c water
1/2 c shredded asiago
salt, to taste

--------------------

1 small jar of sun-dried tomatoes, drained
2 T olive oil
2 T capers
4 T Stupid Easy Pesto

Bring the water and salt to a boil in a large pot, then slowly pour in the polenta with one hand while stirring with the other hand.

Reduce heat to a low boil and stir the polenta every couple of minutes. You'll know it's done when it's thick and peels off the side of the pot. It'll take, like, 20 minutes. Stir in the cheese and turn off the heat. Pour the polenta into a baking dish and press flat. Put it in the fridge for a bit to firm up.

While the polenta is cooking, grind up the sun-dried tomatoes and oil in the your little food processor. Stir in the capers after you process it.

Heat a little oil in a pan. Cut a slices of polenta and pan fry until the polenta is a little brown and crispy looking.

Meanwhile, place a blob of Stupid Easy Pesto on a plate and drag the spoon through it. Look how fancy you are!!!

Artfully arrange the fried polenta squares on the pesto and top with the sun-dried tomato sauce. Invite over Snookie and you've got yourself dinner and a show.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Indoor S'mores

2010-12-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

Q: What's worse than not having a fireplace?

A: Camping.

Here's how to make S'mores in the comfort of your own kitchen.

OK, let's do this:

Indoor S'mores
total time 4 min

graham crackers
parchment paper
Marshmallow Fluff (no gelatin)
thin chocolate bar

Set the oven to Broil.

Place the graham crackers on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Add some chocolate to half of the crackers and a smear of Fluff to the other half.

Place the baking sheet ON THE LOWEST RACK of the oven and broil for about a minute or until the Fluff is a little brown.

Now, would you like the merit badge that says "stupid" or "easy"?

Change your life for less than $100

2010-12-08T14:00:00.000-08:00

Tong to-ton-ton TONGS!

Not only do they make you look like you know what you're doing, tongs prevent annoying burns caused by grabbing things out of a hot skillet with your bare hands. They're more secure than a spatula and are great for retrieving stuff from the back of the oven, like the piece of pizza you put in there "for a minute," and forgot about and then it caught fire and you had to throw baking soda all over the whole freaking oven to put out the fire. Hypothetically.

Faberware tongs - $12.34 + shipping, Amazon.com

The Good Breakfast

2010-12-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

eIt's the Meryl Streep of breakfasts. It's just better than all the other breakfasts. Even if you don't like breakfast, you can't deny that this one is simply better and more respected than other breakfasts. Young side dishes are chomping at the bit for a chance to be on your plate next to this breakfast.

OK, let's do this:

The Good Breakfast
makes 2 servings
total time 10 minutes

4 slices ciabatta or 2 English muffins
butter
-------
Topping:
1/2 c chopped tomato
small handful chopped basil
1/4 c chopped onion
salt & pepper, to taste
------
4 eggs cooked however you want them
1/4 cup asiago cheese, shredded
------
4 T Stupid Easy Pesto Sauce

Toast and butter the ciabatta/muffins. While it's toasting, combine the topping ingredients and set aside.

Next cook your eggs however you like them (I do mine over medium) and place the eggs on top of the toast. Sprinkle cheese on the eggs. Add a couple dollops of pesto and then the tomato topping. Serve with the green beans I told you about. Enjoy and watch the Oscars come pouring in.

Presto, Pesto!

2010-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

I've still been able to find great basil at the farmers' market, so I'm stocking up on pesto before it's too late.

If you live somewhere where the weather is already shitty and cold and there's no basil in sight, then I think now might be the perfect time to book that Southern California vacation you've always been dreaming of. Tell your boss I said it's ok.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Pesto Sauce
makes 1 1/2ish cups
total time 5 minutes

Big, fat bunch of basil - like, 4 cups or so
1/2 c shredded asiago cheese
3 cloves garlic
1/4 c pine nuts (optional)
salt, to taste
1/2 ish cup olive oil

Combine all ingredients except oil in a food processor and run until everything's combined. Add olive oil slowly until desired texture is reached.

I don't use the pine nuts because I think they taste like fart, but that's just me.

Pesto freezes beautifully - you could even freeze it in 2 tablespoon increments in an ice cube tray......genius.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Indian Spiced Brownies

2010-12-03T16:18:00.000-08:00

This recipe calls for two eggs, so the way I see it is one pan equals part of a complete breakfast.

OK, let's do this:

Indian Spiced Brownies
makes 12 brownies
prep time 10 min, bake time 45 min

1 stick (8 T) butter, very soft but not liquid - best to leave it out on the counter for a few hours
1 T butter for greasing the pan
1/2 c packed brown sugar
1 c white sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
2 t vanilla
3/4 c all purpose flour
2/3 c cocoa powder
pinch salt
1/2 t garam masala
1/4 t ground ginger
1/4 t cayenne pepper

Preheat the oven to 350º F. Grease a baking pan.

In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar until smooth-ish, then add eggs and vanilla. Slowly beat in remaining ingredients and combine thoroughly. Bake in a greased pan for 45 min or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Allow to cool before slicing.

Remember that time I said we were only going to eat salad this week? I totally lied.

Dear Lanie J-

2010-12-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

Your recipes ARE stupid easy, but I can't help but think that there HAS to be a way to make them even easier. Any tips on cutting out some of the tedious stuff?

Yours,
Speed Demon

--------------------------

Dear SD-

I'm assuming that you already bought yourself the little food processor we talked about a while back.

So here's what you do to save a step and some dish washing the next time you cook:

Set aside a little window if time and a large glass of wine. Get a few heads of garlic and take the skins off. The fastest way to get the papery skin off a garlic clove is to smash it by setting your knife flat on it and banging it with your hand.

Once you've accumulated a zillion or so cloves, run them through your food processor. Scoop out little, clove-sized spoonfuls into an ice cube tray, cover with plastic and pop it in the freezer. Now you'll have minced garlic ready to go whenever you need it! This same technique works well with peeled and minced ginger, left over tomato paste, canned chipotles, etc. The important thing is to use a consistent form of measurement - one cube = 2 cloves of garlic, 1/2 T ginger, 1/2 T tomato paste or whatever.......you get the idea.

If you still haven't gotten your food processor, you can do this same thing mincing by hand, but it will take 4 times as long, so you'll probably need four glasses of wine.

Hope this helps!

Stay easy,

Lanie J

Email your cooking questions to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com

Change your life for less than $100

2010-12-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

If you're anything like the old me, you hate scrubbing roasted-on oil from a baking sheet. So you don't. Ever. You just use a baking sheet until the burnt, black surface area is greater than the silver parts, and you run out of ways to arrange things so your cookies don't taste like burnt eggplant and your squash doesn't taste like burnt pizza. Then you throw it away, buy a new one and start the whole, horrible cycle all over again.

Parchment paper from If You Care - photo from ifyoucare.com

Like I said, that was the old me. Now I'm hip to parchment paper, and you should be too. It's only about $6 at Whole Foods.

Food For Thought

2010-11-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

It's simply magical the way Nature's diuretic, the grapefruit, is in season during my peak wine-consuming season. Coincidence or the Magic of the Holiday Season balancing everything out?

I've been finding some really great Oro Blanco grapefruits at the farmers' markets lately. They're sweeter than regular grapefruit, and a whole lot prettier. If you can find pomelos, even better.

Pour yourself a glass of sauv blanc and giddy-up!

OK, let's do this:

Grapefruit and Avocado Salad
serves 2
total time 10 min

1/2 T olive oil
1/2 T red wine vinegar
1/2 T shallot, minced really small
salt & pepper, to taste

--------------------------------

2 large grapefruit, supremed (look at you using your new skills!)
1/2 large avocado peeled, sliced

Combine the first group of ingredients and toss over the grapefruit and avocado.

Arrange artfully on a plate using a slotted spoon so it's not swimming in dressing and grapefruit juice. Top with chopped cilantro or parsley.

Eat it and cancel out last night's wine.

Beet It! Just Beet It!

2010-11-29T10:32:00.000-08:00

Well darlings, Thanksgiving is over so that means it's salad time until we all drop the 3lbs we gained over the weekend. I'm saying "we" because you guys gained that much, too, right? RIGHT?!

OK, let's do this:

Beet Salad with Orange and Fennel
makes 6 servings
prep time 2 min, total time 30 min-ish

1 bunch beets, any color, leaves & stems removed
1 t orange zest
1 navel orange
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
2 T olive oil
salt & pepper, to taste
6 handfuls lettuce
1/2 small fennel bulb, sliced thinly on your awesome new slicer
handful of goat cheese, optional

Bring a pot of water to a boil and boil the beets until fork tender (cooking time will vary based on how big the beets are). Once they're done, run them under some cold water and slip the skins right off. It's fun! And slimy! Cut into bite-sized chunks and set aside to cool.

Meanwhile, zest the orange and set the zest aside.

Next you're going to supreme the orange.

You: "What! I don't know what the hell that means!"
Me: "Chill out, freak."

All supreming means is that you're going to get all the pith (white part) and peel off the citrus sections.

Here's how:
Cut the top and bottom off with a sharp knife. Put a flat side down on the cutting board and use the knife to cut the peel and pith off, top to bottom. You'll lose a little pulp, but if you work in small sections you can minimize it.

Next you're going to hold the peeled orange in one hand over a bowl and carefully cut between the membranes to remove just the yummy pulp section with no membrane or white stuff.

Congratulations! You're a Supreme Stud(-ette)!

Pour the juice that was collected in the bowl into a small pot or pan and add the vinegar and zest. Bring to a simmer and reduce to about 1/3 the original amount. Remove from the heat and set aside.

You just made balsamic/orange reduction!!

Now toss the beets, orange sections, fennel slices and lettuce in the olive oil, salt & pepper. Arrange in a little pile on a plate and drizzle with the balsamic/orange reduction. Sprinkle with goat cheese if using (I wasn't, but only because I didn't have any).

Bonus points: chop a little of the fennel greens and sprinkle on.

Today's lessons that apply to other recipes:
Making a reduction
Supreming citrus

You have learned so much today! Go have a glass or six of wine - you've earned it.

Dear Lanie J-

2010-11-24T09:52:00.000-08:00

When I get invited to potlucks I usually just stop and buy some bean dip from Trader Joe's and call it a day. But this is Thanksgiving - The Big One. I need to step up my game. I also need to not work very hard. What do I do?

Best,
Hopelessly Lazy

--------------------------

HL-

First off - You're BUYING bean dip?! Sweet Smoking Baby, you people are worse than I thought. We'll rectify that next week. As far as Thanksgiving goes, I've got your back. You can actually make this recipe at the party in about 3 minutes.

Stay easy,
Lanie J

OK, let's do this:

Green Beans with Lemon
total time: 2 min

green beans
fresh lemon juice
olive oil
salt, to taste

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the green beans and cover. The very second it starts to boil again, time 90 seconds. No more.

Take the beans out of the water right away and toss in a little olive oil, lemon juice and salt.

That's it. I'm not even measuring this one out for you, that's how much I trust you.

Email your cooking questions to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com

Uh-oh Spaghetti Squash-io!

2010-11-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

I knew I shouldn't have joked about having a warm November. Now the high is only 61º here in LA and I have to roast stuff at 425º just to keep from getting frostbite.

OK, Let's do this:

Spaghetti Squash with Garlic Butter
Makes 4 servings
Hands on time 10 min, cook time 40 min

1 Spaghetti squash, cut lengthwise, seeds removed
3 T olive oil, divided
3 T butter (keep it vegan by using only olive oil
2 handfuls cherry tomatoes, cut in half
handful of basil, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
salt, to taste

Preheat oven to 425ºF. Drizzle the squash flesh with 1T olive oil. Place the squash cut side down on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and roast for 40 min or until flesh is tender.

Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a large saute pan over low/med heat. Cook the tomatoes and half of the basil for a few minutes, then add the garlic and butter and cook for another 10min, stirring frequently to avoid burning the butter and garlic.

Today's lesson that applies to other recipes:

Garlic and butter burn easily. Add them later than other ingredients and use lower heat.

Once the squash is cool enough to handle with a towel, scrape the flesh out with a fork. It will come off in spaghetti-like strands (get it?).

Toss the squash in with the butter sauce and salt to taste. Garnish with remaining basil leaves.

I don't have kids because they're grody, but I can't help but think this would be a good alternative to regular noodles with butter (which is also grody).

Curry Deviled Eggs

2010-11-22T10:55:00.000-08:00

Must...fight...urge...to...make...smelly jokes!

Seriously though, this dish is a simple yet impressive twist on a real crowd pleaser.

OK, let's do this:

Curry Deviled Eggs
Makes 24 pieces
Hands on time 10 min, total time 25 min

12 eggs
1/2 cup mayo
2 T mustard
1 T shallots, minced small
3 T celery, minced small
2 T pickle, minced small or pickle relish
1/4 t cayenne
1/2 T curry powder
salt and pepper, to taste

1 zip-loc baggie

Boil the eggs for 12 minutes, then set in a bowl of ice water. Once cooled, peel the eggs and slice lengthwise.

Pop the yolks into a bowl and combine with remaining ingredients. Use a fork to mash it up really, really well - it should be smooth. Ideally you should put it in your fabulous little food processor. What?! You didn't buy it yet?! That's just insane.

Take the plastic baggie and cut a teensie piece of the corner off. Congratulations! You just made a pastry bag! Fill the bag with the yolk mixture and gently squeeze it into the egg white halves.

Wanna Make it FANCY?!

If you take nothing else from this blog, remember this:

ARUGULA ALWAYS MAKES IT FANCY.

Place a few arugula leaves on a plate. Put the deviled egg on the arugula. Drizzle with a little olive oil and sprinkle with paprika. If you get any fancier you'll have to start cooking with elbow length black satin gloves. Even you, Jamil.

Thinking of taking these to a Thanksgiving potluck? Here's a trick:
Stick a short glass or bowl over one of the eggs to keep plastic wrap from sticking to the other eggs.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Sorbet With Berry Balsamic Topping

2010-11-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

This splurge is not too indulgent calorie-wise. Come to think of it, it does have balsamic vinegar in it.....let's just consider this one a salad.

OK, let's do this:

Balsamic Sorbet Topping
Total hands on time 8 min, chill time 5 min
makes about 6 servings

1/4 c balsamic vinegar
1 ish cup of frozen mixed berries
2 T maple syrup or agave nectar
1 cap full of vanilla (use the cap from the vanilla bottle)

Your favorite flavored sorbet (lemon, coconut or vanilla is awesome)

Combine all ingredients in a small pan over medium heat and simmer for about 10 minutes. Allow it to chill in the freezer for a few minutes so it doesn't melt the sorbet. Pour over sorbet. Boom. Done.

Change your life for less than $100

2010-11-18T10:03:00.000-08:00

Once you figure out how to use this safely, the amount of time you'll save slicing carrots and cucumbers really thinly is totally worth the amount of time you'll spend bandaging your bloodied knuckles during the learning process.

Go! Buy it!

Quick Slice

$20 on Amazon plus shipping

Dear Lanie J-

2010-11-17T15:14:00.000-08:00

Can you cook radishes?

-Jamil

Dear Jamil,

You can totally cook radishes, but just FYI, they're also really good raw. More specifically, raw with cold butter and sea salt.

But your desire to cook something that you could very easily just cut in half and call a dish leads me to think you're a bit of an overachiever - or a suck up.

For the record: I love suck ups.

This one's for you, Jamil!

Stay easy,

-Lanie J

OK, let's do this:

Jamil's Spicy Radish Stir Fry
makes 2 servings
prep time 5 minues, cook time 5 minutes

1/2 t orange zest
Juice from 1/2 of that orange (zest it first, trust me)
pinch crushed red pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 T minced ginger
2 green onions, sliced
1 T soy sauce
1 t sesame oil

-----------------------

1 T olive oil
1 medium shallot, sliced thinly
1 handful of snow peas, sliced in half
1 small bunch of radishes, sliced thinly
1 handful watercress, tough stems removed

Combine first group of ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

Heat the olive oil in a pan over med heat. Add the shallots, snow peas and radish and sauté for 2 minutes. Add the first group of ingredients and sauté for 2 more minutes. Toss in the watercress and stir until wilted.

Email your cooking questions to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com

Sass-squash

2010-11-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

The sweetness of this butternut squash soup is balanced by a kick of cayenne pepper and ginger. It's kind of the Sookie Stackhouse of soup.

OK, let's do this:

Spicy Butternut Squash Soup
Makes 8-10 servings
Hands on time 20 minutes, cook time 45 minutes

1/4 t cayenne pepper
1/4 t ground cinnamon
1/4 t garam masala
1 T dried thyme
1 T dried sage
1/4 c olive oil

1 medium butternut squash
2 medium shallots diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
1 apple, cored and chopped
1 pear, cored and copped
1 1/2 inch ginger, peeled, minced
4-6 cups of veggie broth
Juice from 1/2 an orange
Salt, to taste
2 T maple syrup
1/4 cup heavy cream (optional)

Preheat the oven to 425ºF

Combine the spices and olive oil in a bowl.

Carefully peel the butternut squash. Hold it firmly and slice off the ends so you have a flat edge. Place a flat edge down and carefully slice the squash lengthwise. Use a spoon to scoop the seeds and stringy pulp out and discard it. That was the hardest part of this whole recipe. Go have a drink. You've earned it.

Chop the squash into 1 inch-ish chunks. It's best to keep the pieces about the same size so they roast in the same amount of time.

Toss the squash chunks in half of the oil/spice blend, then spread the pieces on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Roast at 425ºF until pieces are tender - about 35 minutes.

While the squash is roasting, heat the remaining spice-oil in a large stock pot. Add the shallots and brown them. Add the carrots and celery and sauté them for 3 minutes or so. Add the apple, pear and ginger and sauté for another 5 minutes, stirring once in a while.

Add the broth, cover and reduce the heat. Allow to simmer until carrots are soft, then turn off the heat and stir in the roasted squash chunks. Transfer the chunky soup to a food processor in small batches and process until smooth.

Add the orange juice, maple syrup and cream (if using) and adjust seasoning.

Wanna make it FANCY?!

Try this:

Slice off a few rings of shallots or grab a couple fresh sage leaves. Toss them in some flour and fry them in just enough hot oil that they float a little. They'll get nice and crispy plus they'll look really cool, and so will you.

Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weenie, Little Dollop of Tahini

2010-11-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

Now that you've undoubtedly ordered and received your Christmas present to yourself, let's break that bad boy in!
We're going to kick that addiction to store-bought hummus. You're better than that - or you will be in about 5 minutes.

OK, let's do this:

"Suck it, Sabra" Hummus
Makes 6 servings
Total time: 5 min

1 large clove of garlic
1 14oz can of garbanzo beans (same thing as chickpeas), drained, rinsed
Juice from 1 or 2 lemons
2 T water
1 1/2 T tahini
2 t ground cumin
1/4 t cayenne
1/4-1/3 c olive oil
salt, to taste

Combine all ingredients in your new food processor and process until smooth.

Too thick? Add more lemon juice, water or oil.

Too thin? Add a little more tahini

Put the hummus in a bowl and top with a little olive oil and cayenne. Serve with raw veggies and whole wheat pita.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Poached Pears

2010-11-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

It's a frigid 73ºF here in Los Angeles. What better way to get all warm 'n' cozy than with cinnamon and red wine poached pears stuffed with vanilla mascarpone and candied walnuts?

"But Lanie J, I can't make that! IT'S TOO FANCY!"

Bullshit. I've got your back.

OK, let's do this:

Fancy Pants Cinnamon Poached Pears
Makes 8 servings
Prep time 5 min, cook time 30-40 min

For the pears:
4 firm pears - we're talking apple firm, people
1 bottle cheap red wine, new, not nasty almost vinegar wine (we'll use that for other stuff)
water
1 T ground cinnamon
1 t vanilla extract (splurge on the good kind)

For the filling:
8oz container of mascarpone cheese (available everywhere, even at Trader Joe's)
1 t vanilla extract
2 t agave nectar or maple syrup

For the topping
2 handfuls chopped walnuts
1 1/2 T sugar, agave nectar or maple syrup
1/2 t cinnamon

Peel the pears, but leave a little skin near the stems and butts. Place them in a pot that holds all 4 without too much extra room.

Pour in the wine a little more than halfway. Add water until the pot is almost full, but not so full it's going to boil over and make your stove a mess. I believe in saving wine stains for your teeth.

Cover and bring to a boil, then remove cover and reduce to a strong simmer. Allow to simmer for 30-40 minutes or until a fork can be easily inserted (but not so they're mushy). If the pears float in the pot, you'll need to rotate them occasionally with a spoon.

Meanwhile, combine filling ingredients and set in the fridge until needed.

In a pan over medium heat add the topping ingredients all at once. Stir continuously until walnuts are just toasted and coated with sugar about 2 minutes. Remove them from the heat and set aside.

Once pears are done, cut them in half LENGTHWISE and place in the freezer for 10 minutes.
While the pears are cooling, dump out all but an inch of the poaching liquid and bring it back to a boil. Allow it to simmer until it's reduced by at least half. It will be syrupy. That's good.

Once the pears are cool, use a spoon to scoop out the seeds and any chewy-looking internal stem thingies. Place tiny blob of the filling on a plate and set the pear on the blob. This will keep the pear from sliding all over and ruining the look.

Next scoop a bigger blob of filling into the space you just scooped out of the pear. Sprinkle the candied walnuts on top. Now for the fanciness. Get a small spoonful of the syrup you made be reducing the wine. Hold the spoon vertically so most of the syrup runs off back into the pot - you just want a tiny stream coming off the spoon. Wave the spoon over the pear, drizzling the syrup like the artful master chef you are.

Change your life for less than $100

2010-11-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

Buy this. It's $29.95 on Amazon and ships for free. Mine's pink which makes everything taste better.

¡Holy Frijoles!

2010-11-10T22:55:00.000-08:00

Don’t let the long list of ingredients scare you – it’s all normal stuff. This Black Bean Soup is perfect for when you need to throw something together in a hurry but still want a hearty, healthy meal.

This recipe makes a lot of soup. Store it in mason jars (or old pasta sauce jars) in the fridge or wait ’til it cools and store it in plastic in the freezer. Never put hot food in plastic. It’s gross and I wont be your friend anymore.

OK, let's do this:

Black Bean Soup
makes 8-10 servings
prep time: 5 min, cook time: 20 min

1 T sunflower or other high heat oil
1 1/2 cup onions, diced
1 heaping Tbsp ground cumin
1 T dried oregano
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 t salt
1/4 t cayenne (more or less depending on personal preference)
1/2 t fennel seeds
1/2cup carrots, diced
1/2cup celery, diced
1/2 zucchini, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 28oz can diced tomatoes (lightly drained)
4 cups vegetable stock
2 14oz cans black beans, drained, rinsed thoroughly
1/2 c chopped cilantro
1/2 c corn (frozen is fine)
1/4 c good olive oil

Heat oil in a large pot over high heat. Add onions and cook until they’re translucent – about 3 min.
Add spices and stir to combine.

When the spices start to stick to the bottom of the pan, add the tomatoes and kind of scrape the bottom of the pot to get all the good toasty onion and spice bits off.

Add the veggie stock, carrots and celery and cover the pot. When it begins to boil, turn the heat down to Med-high and add the zucchini, garlic. Cover and allow the soup to gently boil until the carrots are tender, but not mushy – about 15 min.

When the carrots are tender, add the remaining ingredients (Black beans, corn, cilantro). Allow to simmer for a couple minutes, then remove 1 or 2 cups of the soup and blend it, then stir it back into the pot. This will thicken the soup. If you have an immersion blender, that’s even better – run it for about 15 seconds. If you’re using a regular blender, be careful with hot liquid…put a towel over the top. If you have no blender, don’t stress – it will still be great, just broth-ier.

Garnish with a couple slices of avocado and a dollop of sour cream or shredded cheese. Look at you, you sexy Soup Master!

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Look what Ana made!

"Oooh! I LOVE arugula!"

2010-11-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

Arugula is awesome, but people treat it as if it's impossible to find or something. People always gush over it. That's because people are dumb. You can use this to your advantage.

How to impress people in 3 easy steps:

1) Buy some arugula
2) Toss it with dressing
3) Put it on a plate

With quiche I like to add a little arugula salad. Partly because it looks awesome and partly because I like to try to balance eating pie crust first thing in the morning.

Here's how to make a kick ass dressing in less than 1 minute.

OK, let's do this:

Kick Ass Dijon Dressing
makes 6 servings
total time: 1 min

3 T Dijon mustard
2 T Mayo
1 or 2 T olive oil, you can choose the consistency. I'll let you.
1 T capers if you have them
salt and pepper to taste

Stir all ingredients together and toss over the arugula. Save the extra in a little jar for a week or so.

Bonus: Put it on things like asparagus and broccolini and call it an "aioli," and pretend you're fancy!

Jay and Lynn Quiche

2010-11-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

I always keep an emergency quiche in the house. It's easy, delicious and you never know when you'll have a house full of tipsy, possibly stoned people that raid your kitchen and bitch because all you have is canned beans and mustard.

Now if you're one of those people, feel free to make your own pie dough, but know that you're wasting precious time that could be spent eating quiche and/or pie. Trader Joe's and Whole Foods Market both make excellent frozen pie doughs that contain no preservatives. Whole Foods even has organic and whole wheat options.

Jay and Lynn Quiche with broccolini and arugula covered in Kick Ass Dijon Dressing

OK, let's do this:

Jay and Lynn Quiche
Makes 8 servings unless you are Jay and Lynn, then it makes 2 giant servings.
Prep time: 8 min, Bake time 40 min

1 frozen pie dough, thawed in the fridge overnight or on the counter away from the dog for about and hour.
2 T olive oil
1/2 large red onion, diced (go ahead and chop the whole thing - you'll probably use it later)
4 big handfuls of baby spinach
5 large eggs
1/3 cup mayonnaise (trust me on this)
2/3 cup shredded asiago cheese
handful of chives, chopped

salt and pepper, to taste

Heat a pan over med/high heat; add oil.

Drop one piece of onion in - if it sizzles, add the onion and cook 'til they brown.

Add the spinach and cook til it's dark green and wilty.

Remove from heat and drain by placing the mixture in a colander and pressing with a spatula.

Once the spinach has cooled for just a couple minutes, combine it with all the other filling ingredients and whisk with a fork for a minute.

Pour filling into the pie shell and use the whisking fork to stab the bottom of the pie shell a few times.

Bake at 375ºF for 40 minutes or until golden brown and not jiggly in the middle.

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Real life application:

Look what Lisa P. made!

"Made Lanie's stupid easy quiche for din! Sooooooo gooooood"

Let's get stupid.

2010-11-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Stupid Easy!

Basically what you'll find on here is a bunch of recipes that you can use to impress your friends, loved ones and people you're trying to get into bed with your seemingly mad culinary skills. Oh, and you'll eat better in the process.

I've taken the art of cooking and - er - boiled it down to recipes even my husband can follow. Most recipes require only basic kitchen equipment and ingredients you can find without the aid of a sherpa. We'll even utilize some things you can buy ready made.

You may notice I use terms like "handful" and "ish" a lot. That's because sometimes measuring things is a waste of time and just creates another dirty dish. If you're an accuracy freak, prepare to lose your mind.

On Stupid Easy you'll find recipes that contain whole, healthy ingredients without tasting like you need to wear patchouli and stop shaving. They'll be easy to follow and sometimes I'll even show you how to plate it to really make you look talented. Think of me as your kitchen wingman, baby.