Worth the Garlic Breath

Just made up a really delicious mock Caesar salad.  Why "mock"?  Because I left out the anchovies.  Why leave out the anchovies?  Because hairy, greasy fish just ain't my thang.

OK, let's do this:

Fishless Caesar
total time 5 min


for the dressing:
1/4 c mayo
2 t mustard
3 cloves garlic, minced
juice from 1 lemon
1 t soy sauce
cracked black pepper
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Romaine lettuce, chopped
these croutons
handful of parmesan cheese, shredded

Combine the dressing ingredients and toss over lettuce and croutons.  Sprinkle with cheese.  (Were these instructions necessary?.....)

How to Keep Your Car Seats Looking Great

It's approximately 147ºF here in LA.  All I'm craving is sangria and cold, hearty salads.

I was going to do an orzo salad, but realized I didn't have any orzo and couldn't imagine getting back in the car.  Let's just work with what we have so I don't leave crotch-sweat stains on the upholstery of my car.

OK, let's do this:

Mediterranean Quinoa Salad
makes about 5 cups
total time 20 min

1 cup quinoa, rinsed thoroughly
1 3/4 c water
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for the dressing:
3 T olive oil
2 T red wine vinegar
zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic (I used Gerraro's Marinated Greek Garlic)
1/2 small red onion, diced small
salt & pepper, to taste
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2 handfuls fresh parsley, chopped roughly
1 handful fresh oregano, chopped roughly 
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup artichoke hearts
1/2 cup roasted bell pepper, chopped
1/2 cup black olives, pitted & chopped
1/2 cup feta, crumbled (optional)

Boil the water, add quinoa, reduce heat and simmer about 10 min.  Once it's done, place it in a bowl and put it in the freezer while you prep the other stuff.  Stir it a couple times in the freezer to help it cool faster.

Combine the dressing ingredients (you can just do this in the same bowl you're serving it in).  Add the cooled quinoa and stir in the remaining ingredients.

Put THAT on your bread and eat it.

Bread is delicious.  Seriously.  Freaking.  Delicious.  Rather than covering the bread in butter (also delicious), try roasting some garlic and herbs and veggies and eating that on the bread instead.  It's got this really great rustic look.

You can roast the regular way - high temp, or the slow way - low temp for a million hours.  I decided to split the difference and see what happened.  Spoiler alert:  it was yummy!

OK, let's do this:

Roasted Stuff for Bread
total time 40 min

tomatoes  (on the vine is cuter)
shallots, quartered
rosemary
garlic, sliced thinly
olive oil
salt, pepper to taste


crusty bread, sliced and toasted
balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 300ºF.

Place the shallots, tomatoes and rosemary in a baking dish lined with parchment paper.  Toss in the garlic, drizzle the whole mess generously with olive oil.  Add salt and pepper.  Bake for 40 min - 1 hour or until the skins of the tomatoes split, but before they turn to mush.

Serve with fabulous bread and balsamic vinegar.

Presto, Pesto!

I've still been able to find great basil at the farmers' market, so I'm stocking up on pesto before it's too late. 

If you live somewhere where the weather is already shitty and cold and there's no basil in sight, then I think now might be the perfect time to book that Southern California vacation you've always been dreaming of.  Tell your boss I said it's ok.


OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Pesto Sauce
makes 1 1/2ish cups
total time 5 minutes

Big, fat bunch of basil - like, 4 cups or so
1/2 c shredded asiago cheese
3 cloves garlic
1/4 c pine nuts (optional)
salt, to taste
1/2 ish cup olive oil

Combine all ingredients except oil in a food processor and run until everything's combined.  Add olive oil slowly until desired texture is reached.

I don't use the pine nuts because I think they taste like fart, but that's just me.

Pesto freezes beautifully - you could even freeze it in 2 tablespoon increments in an ice cube tray......genius.

Dear Lanie J-

Your recipes ARE stupid easy, but I can't help but think that there HAS to be a way to make them even easier.  Any tips on cutting out some of the tedious stuff?

Yours,
Speed Demon

--------------------------

Dear SD-

I'm assuming that you already bought yourself the little food processor we talked about a while back.

So here's what you do to save a step and some dish washing the next time you cook:

Set aside a little window if time and a large glass of wine.  Get a few heads of garlic and take the skins off.  The fastest way to get the papery skin off a garlic clove is to smash it by setting your knife flat on it and banging it with your hand.

Once you've accumulated a zillion or so cloves, run them through your food processor.  Scoop out little, clove-sized spoonfuls into an ice cube tray, cover with plastic and pop it in the freezer.  Now you'll have minced garlic ready to go whenever you need it!  This same technique works well with peeled and minced ginger, left over tomato paste, canned chipotles, etc.  The important thing is to use a consistent form of measurement - one cube = 2 cloves of garlic, 1/2 T ginger, 1/2 T tomato paste or whatever.......you get the idea.

If you still haven't gotten your food processor, you can do this same thing mincing by hand, but it will take 4 times as long, so you'll probably need four glasses of wine.

Hope this helps!

Stay easy,

Lanie J

Email your cooking questions to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com

Uh-oh Spaghetti Squash-io!

I knew I shouldn't have joked about having a warm November.  Now the high is only 61º here in LA and I have to roast stuff at 425º just to keep from getting frostbite.

OK, Let's do this:


Spaghetti Squash with Garlic Butter
Makes 4 servings
Hands on time 10 min, cook time 40 min


1 Spaghetti squash, cut lengthwise, seeds removed
3 T olive oil, divided
3 T butter (keep it vegan by using only olive oil
2 handfuls cherry tomatoes, cut in half
handful of basil, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
salt, to taste

Preheat oven to 425ºF.  Drizzle the squash flesh with 1T olive oil.  Place the squash cut side down on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and roast for 40 min or until flesh is tender.

Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a large saute pan over low/med heat.  Cook the tomatoes and half of the basil for a few minutes, then add the garlic and butter and cook for another 10min, stirring frequently to avoid burning the butter and garlic.

Today's lesson that applies to other recipes:

Garlic and butter burn easily.  Add them later than other ingredients and use lower heat.

Once the squash is cool enough to handle with a towel, scrape the flesh out with a fork.  It will come off in spaghetti-like strands (get it?).

Toss the squash in with the butter sauce and salt to taste.  Garnish with remaining basil leaves.

I don't have kids because they're grody, but I can't help but think this would be a good alternative to regular noodles with butter (which is also grody).