How to Win Friends & Influence People:

Grill fruit.

Seriously, that's all it takes.  Well, that and a nice rack.
 

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Grilled Apricot Hors d'oeuvre
makes about 20 pieces
total time 20 min

4 apricots, ripe, but not too ripe
fresh mozzarella
2 slices of red onion (don't separate the rings)
1 T olive oil
3 T balsamic vinegar, reduced
 salt, pepper
large basil leaves

Fire up the grill to med/high. Don't have a grill?  Use a frying pan - you just wont get the grill marks.

Slice the apricots and onion and toss in the olive oil, salt and pepper.  Set aside.

 

Reduce the vinegar over medium heat (about 4 min).

Grill the apricots and onions for about 3 minutes on each side, or until they get the pretty grill marks.  Remove from heat.

Cut the grilled onion into smaller pieces and separate the rings so that you have approximately 2 inch long pieces.

Place a piece of onion on the basil leaf, then a piece of fresh mozzarella, then the apricot, then drizzle with the balsamic reduction.

 

You say "Tomato," I say "Shut up and eat"

After 11 grueling days of winter, I'm finally starting to see really beautiful tomatoes at my little farmers' market.  You know what that means?...... It's caprese time, bitches!

OK, let's do this:

Mozzarealla Caprese
total time 5 min


really good tomatoes, sliced
really good fresh mozzarella, sliced and then torn into bite size pieces
roasted bell peppers (from a jar is fine), cut into bite sized pieces
basil, chopped
olive oil for drizzling
3-4 T balsamic vinegar
salt & pepper

Heat the balsamic in a pan over low heat until it steams - allow to reduce for a few minutes and remove from heat.

Meanwhile, arrange the cheese, tomatoes, peppers and basil in alternating layers.  Drizzle with the olive oil and vinegar reduction.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Sit back and enjoy the fact that you finally found a use for that weirdly shaped plate you registered for.

Peasant, Schmeasant

Just like Pabst Blue Ribbon and the Jersey Shore, the once only-for-trashy-people polenta is enjoying it's time in the lime light.


OK, let's do this:

Polizzi Polenta
hands on time 25 min, total time 1 hour

1 c ground polenta
3 c water
1/2 c shredded asiago
salt, to taste


--------------------


1 small jar of sun-dried tomatoes, drained
2 T olive oil
2 T capers
4 T Stupid Easy Pesto

Bring the water and salt to a boil in a large pot, then slowly pour in the polenta with one hand while stirring with the other hand.

Reduce heat to a low boil and stir the polenta every couple of minutes.   You'll know it's done when it's thick and peels off the side of the pot.  It'll take, like, 20 minutes.  Stir in the cheese and turn off the heat.  Pour the polenta into a baking dish and press flat.  Put it in the fridge for a bit to firm up.

While the polenta is cooking, grind up the sun-dried tomatoes and oil in the your little food processor.  Stir in the capers after you process it.

 

Heat a little oil in a pan.  Cut a slices of polenta and pan fry until the polenta is a little brown and crispy looking. 

Meanwhile, place a blob of Stupid Easy Pesto on a plate and drag the spoon through it.  Look how fancy you are!!!

Artfully arrange the fried polenta squares on the pesto and top with the sun-dried tomato sauce.  Invite over Snookie and you've got yourself dinner and a show.

The Good Breakfast

eIt's the Meryl Streep of breakfasts.  It's just better than all the other breakfasts.  Even if you don't like breakfast, you can't deny that this one is simply better and more respected than other breakfasts.  Young side dishes are chomping at the bit for a chance to be on your plate next to this breakfast.

OK, let's do this:

The Good Breakfast
makes 2 servings
total time 10 minutes

4 slices ciabatta or 2 English muffins
butter
-------
Topping:
1/2 c chopped tomato
small handful chopped basil
1/4 c chopped onion
salt & pepper, to taste
------
4 eggs cooked however you want them
1/4 cup asiago cheese, shredded
------
4 T Stupid Easy Pesto Sauce

Toast and butter the ciabatta/muffins.  While it's toasting, combine the topping ingredients and set aside.

Next cook your eggs however you like them (I do mine over medium) and place the eggs on top of the toast.  Sprinkle cheese on the eggs.  Add a couple dollops of pesto and then the tomato topping.  Serve with the green beans I told you about.  Enjoy and watch the Oscars come pouring in.

Presto, Pesto!

I've still been able to find great basil at the farmers' market, so I'm stocking up on pesto before it's too late. 

If you live somewhere where the weather is already shitty and cold and there's no basil in sight, then I think now might be the perfect time to book that Southern California vacation you've always been dreaming of.  Tell your boss I said it's ok.


OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Pesto Sauce
makes 1 1/2ish cups
total time 5 minutes

Big, fat bunch of basil - like, 4 cups or so
1/2 c shredded asiago cheese
3 cloves garlic
1/4 c pine nuts (optional)
salt, to taste
1/2 ish cup olive oil

Combine all ingredients except oil in a food processor and run until everything's combined.  Add olive oil slowly until desired texture is reached.

I don't use the pine nuts because I think they taste like fart, but that's just me.

Pesto freezes beautifully - you could even freeze it in 2 tablespoon increments in an ice cube tray......genius.

Uh-oh Spaghetti Squash-io!

I knew I shouldn't have joked about having a warm November.  Now the high is only 61º here in LA and I have to roast stuff at 425º just to keep from getting frostbite.

OK, Let's do this:


Spaghetti Squash with Garlic Butter
Makes 4 servings
Hands on time 10 min, cook time 40 min


1 Spaghetti squash, cut lengthwise, seeds removed
3 T olive oil, divided
3 T butter (keep it vegan by using only olive oil
2 handfuls cherry tomatoes, cut in half
handful of basil, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
salt, to taste

Preheat oven to 425ºF.  Drizzle the squash flesh with 1T olive oil.  Place the squash cut side down on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and roast for 40 min or until flesh is tender.

Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a large saute pan over low/med heat.  Cook the tomatoes and half of the basil for a few minutes, then add the garlic and butter and cook for another 10min, stirring frequently to avoid burning the butter and garlic.

Today's lesson that applies to other recipes:

Garlic and butter burn easily.  Add them later than other ingredients and use lower heat.

Once the squash is cool enough to handle with a towel, scrape the flesh out with a fork.  It will come off in spaghetti-like strands (get it?).

Toss the squash in with the butter sauce and salt to taste.  Garnish with remaining basil leaves.

I don't have kids because they're grody, but I can't help but think this would be a good alternative to regular noodles with butter (which is also grody).