Stop Buying That Shit!

If you spend about 15 minutes you can make your own go-anywhere snack bars that are chock-full of great vitamins and minerals and happy fats.


Where will you take them?  To the gym?  to the movies?  to your plastic surgery consultation to buy a better rack?  Like I said, they go anywhere!

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Energy Bars
makes 10 bars
total time 15 min


1 lb medjool dates, pits removed
1 handful dried berries
5 handfuls of nuts and seeds of your choice, I used:
walnuts
cashews
slivered almonds
pistachios
pumpkin seeds
dried cranderries
2 oz. dark chocolate

Make sure all the pits are removed from the dates and run them in a food processor.  This will take a few sessions as dates have a tendency to glob up.  If you don't have a food processor chop them up over and over and over until they form a big sticky blob.  It will take a while if you do it by hand.  Just keep going.

For larger nuts (hee hee), I've found it's better to run them in a food processor until they resemble coarse sand.  That's what I did for the cashews and walnuts (bottom left).  If you don't have a food processor, put them in a heavy duty plastic bag and smash them with a hammer.  Seriously.

Next, melt the chocolate by placing it in a heat proof bowl.  Place the bowl in a pot with a small amount of boiling water making sure not to let the water get into the bowl of chocolate.

Now mix all the nuts together in a big bowl.  Cut the blob of dates into 4 parts and place it in the bowl of nuts and seeds.  Use your hands to mush the nuts into the dates.  Add more nuts if it seems like there's enough sticky date surface area.  You know when you've reached Maximum Nut Capacity when they stop sticking.

Mash the whole mess out flat on a baking sheet lined with wax paper.  Now you can cut them into whatever shape you want.  Drizzle with the melted chocolate and refrigerate.  Once they're cool, store them in the fridge in an air tight container.

It Doesn't Suck...

This recipe is tweaked and adapted from Natural Health Magazine.  It'll keep for a week in the fridge, and makes a much better midnight snack than cereal.

"Lanie's cooking: At least it's better than cereal!"  Hmm....perhaps I should hire a marketing person....

OK, let's do this:
Curry Apple Quinoa Salad
makes 6-8 servings
total time 20 min

1 cup dry quinoa, rinsed

2 cups water
----------------------------
1 tablespoon curry powder

1 teaspoon cumin

1/8 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste

pinch of salt
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon grated lime zest

juice of 2 limes
---------------------------
2 medium carrots, shredded on a cheese grater.  Don't have a cheese grater?  Use a potato peeler to peel slivers, stack 'em up and cut them in half lengthwise.

1 15 ounce can of chickpeas rinsed and drained

3 organic green onions, thinly sliced

2 Granny Smith apples, halved, cored and chopped

handful toasted pumpkin seeds (toast them in a dry pan - it'll only take about 30 seconds)


1 handful parsley, chopped
1 handful cilantro, chopped 
Salt and pepper to taste


Bring the water to a boil in a covered saucepan.  Add quinoa, reduce heat, cover and simmer until water is absorbed (about 10 minutes).  Transfer to a bowl and refrigerate.


While quinoa is cooking and then cooling, combine the second group of ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

Once the quinoa is cooled, stir in the third group of ingredients, then stir in the dressing.  Eat as a midnight snack.  Unless you're a gremlin.

When prepping a lot of ingredients, it can be helpful to prep them and set them up in separate bowls.  It's called mis en place which is French for "See, I went to culinary school!"  It makes you look professional and gives you a smug sense of accomplishment as well as 10.000 extra dirty dishes.