That's Right...Balls.

So my dad is sick and I've been really sad about it and it's made me not want to cook, much less write about cooking.  The ironic thing is my dad is the one who got me interested in cooking in the first place, so my not cooking probably bugs the crap out of him.

I've decided to start cooking, but still bug the crap out of my dad by telling you how to make veggie meat balls, and then telling you how I totally snicker every time I type "balls."  Heh heh.  Balls.  Also I said "crap" twice so I'm probably grounded now, but it was totally worth it.  The way I see it, going through chemo has to be better if one has something to look forward to - like yelling at one's potty-mouthed daughter.  You're welcome, Dad.

OK, let's do this:

Veggie "Meat" Balls (Pppfffha! Ha!)
makes 20 balls (tee heee!)
hands on time 5 min, total time 25 min

1 clove garlic, minced
1 package of baked tofu, savory flavor - NOT teriyaki
couple pinches of dried herbs of your choice - I made spaghetti, so I used Italian-y herbs: dried basil, oregano, parsley
2 eggs
2/3 c panko breadcrumbs 

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

Pulse the garlic and tofu in your little food processor.  If you still haven't ordered it you can mash it all up by hand, but you run the risk of straining your wine-glass-lifting muscles.  Safety first, friends.

 

Transfer to a bowl and stir in herbs, eggs and breadcrumbs.  Roll the mixture into 20 ping pong ball sized balls (haaa!).  Bake on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper for 10 minutes, roll them around a bit, then bake for another 10 minutes.

Dear Lanie J-

How can I dress up shitty boxed mac 'n' cheese?

-Hopeless Bachelor

Well, HB, I hate to say it, but boxed mac 'n' cheese might just be the very reason you're a bachelor in the first place......lemme see what I can do.

Stay Easy,

Lanie J

OK, let's do this:

Not-so-hopeless Mac 'n' Cheese
serves 4 (or 2 if you're famished from passionate love making ignited by this oh-so-romantic recipe)
total time 10 min

1 box of Whole Foods' Shells & Cheese
2 handfuls broccoli florets
1 handful spinach
2 T butter
4 T sour cream (the box calls for milk - use sour cream or half & half instead)
pinch cayenne
salt, pepper, to taste
1 handful asiago or parmesan cheese, shredded

Boil the shells for 5 min.  Add broccoli and boil for exactly 1 1/2 more minutes.  Drain and pour back into the pot.  Stir in cheese packet that comes with the box, butter, sour cream and spinach, cayenne, salt and papper.  Pour into a baking dish and top with shredded cheese.  Broil until cheese gets bubbly (2 min).

Look What Y'all Did!

Here's what some of my fabulous friends have made  Lanie J sniffs, wipes proud tear from corner of eye.

Email pictures of what you make to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com - being featured on this blog is pretty much guaranteed to help you get lucky.

 

Lisa P.  made the Jay and Lynn Quiche!

 

Ana made Black Bean Soup!

Susan made Black Bean Soup and Quesadillas.  She's the winner, clearly.

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Double Chocolate Ginger Cookies

This recipe is adapted from Gingerbread by Jennifer Linder McGlinn.  I made a whole bunch of these for the holidays and gave them to friends, which is just another reason you should totally try to be my friend.

Keys to becoming my friend:

-Walk my dog when I'm out of town or on a bender
-Do the dishes when I cook (this is also the key to becoming my husband)
-Make my blog famous

OK, let's do this:
Double Chocolate Ginger Cookies
total time 20 min

3/4 cup all pupose flour
1/4 cocoa powder
1 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
2 t ground ginger
1 t ground cinnamon
--------------------------
1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temp
8 oz kind of dark chocolate bar chopped into little bits
3/4 c granulated sugar
1/4 c packed brown  sugar
2 large eggs
2 t vanilla
-------------------------
confectioners' sugar for rolling

Preheat the oven to 350ºF

Whisk together the first group of ingredients and set aside.

Fill a small pot halfway-ish with water over med/high heat.  Put a heat proof bowl on top of the pot.  Put 1/2 the chocolate and all the butter in the bowl and stir until it's all smooth and melty.

Remove from heat and stir in sugar.  Allow to cool for a few minutes, then stir in eggs, vanilla and remaining chocolate bits.

Slowly stir the flour into the chocolate mixture.  The recipe says to allow the dough to cool in the fridge for two hours.  I don't have that kind of cookie patience, so I stuck it in the freezer for 1/2 an hour and it turned out just fine.

Once it's cooled, roll little balls of dough in the powdered sugar.  Place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for 10-12 minutes.

Change your life for less than $100

This Oxo salad spinner will spin your lettuce right round, baby right round and get it nice and dry so your fabulous salad dressing actually sticks to the lettuce.  Open up your lovin' arms and buy it now!

Oxo Salad Spinner photo from Amazon.com

Oxo Salad Spinner available an Amazon for $26.33 with free shipping

Quesadilla Blasphemy

I know that quesadillas are generally just solid blobs of colon-blocking cheese (hungry yet?).  Don't get me wrong - they taste awesome - but I can't help but think there's got to be a better, kinda healthier way.  There has to be room in there* somewhere for some sort of redeeming fiber.

*"there" is referring to room in the quesadilla and in your colon!  Yeah, I went there**.

**In this case "there" definitely is NOT referring to your colon (I've never been there**, but after enough wine.......I suppose anything's possible)

OK, let's do this:

Good Stuff Quesadillas
total time 15 min

1 T oil
1/2 onion, chopped
1 zucchini, sliced thinly
1 T taco seasoning OR a little paprika, chili powder, oregano & cayenne, etc.

handful corn kernels
hot sauce, optional
1 can black beans, drained, rinsed
---------------------------------
2 handfuls queso fresco or cojita cheese
1 handful shredded jack and/or cheddar 
---------------------------------
butter
flour tortillas
cilantro, chopped for garnish (optional)

Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat.  Saute the onion for 2 minutes, add the zucchini and spices and saute for 2 more minutes.  If using frozen corn, add it to the pan now to thaw it.  Remove from heat and stir in black beans and cheese.

Butter one side of the tortillas.  Place a tortilla butter side down in a pan on medium heat.  Add the mixture to one side and fold the other side over.  Carefully flip and cook the other side.  Slice in cute triangles.  FYI- any extra filling is delicious with tortilla chips.

Miso Hungry!

These dumplings in miso broth make a great starter or light meal.  Light meal....who came up with that?  I think I hate that term.  Just say snack, jerk.

This is a great snack.  There.

OK, let's do this:

Sweet Potato Dumplings in Miso
hands on time 30 min, total time 1 hr

6-ish sweet potatoes

1T oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 green onions, chopped
1 shallot, minced
2 T ginger, minced

wonton wrappers
1 egg, beaten
1 T oil
water


white or yellow miso paste
more chopped green onions and sesame seeds for garnish (optional)


Set oven to 425ºF and roast potatoes on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper until mushy.  You don't have to wait for the oven to preheat - just throw 'em in.

Meanwhile, heat the oin in a pan over medium heat.  Sautee the shallot, onion, garlic and ginger for a few minutes, then set aside.

Puree the garlic mixture with the potatoes in your little food processor until smooth.

Place a little dollop of the mixture on the center of the wonton wrapper, dip your finger in some egg and use the egg like glue to paint the edges of the wonton wrapper.  Fold it in half diagonally and pinch the edges shut by pressing a fork on it.

 

 

You can make them extra cute if you pinch the far corners together too.

 
Put a pot of water on to almost boil.

Once you've exhausted yourself pinching wontons, heat a little oil in a pan over medium heat.  Add the wontons to the pan with a little water,  Cover and steam for 6 minutes.

Put some hot (not boiling) water into bowls.  Stir in about 1tsp of miso paste per cup of water.  Add a few dumplings and green onions.  Yay - fancy snack time!!!

Was Your New Year's Resolution to Eat More Potatoes?

It was??!!  Awesome!  I've got you covered.

This is my dad's recipe for Dirty Potatoes.

They only look dirty - unless, I suppose, you cook them in the nude or something, you filthy animal, you.

OK, let's do this:

Jerry's Dirty Potatoes
total time 15 min

12 new potatoes, skin on
1/3-1/2 stick butter or 1/4 c olive oil, your choice
1/2 onion, diced
2-3 T of some kind of dried spice blend, like a grilling blend or Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
salt and pepper, to taste

Bring a big pot of water to a boil.  Cut the potatoes into bite-size chunks and boil until fork tender (6-10 min).

Meanwhile, heat the butter or oil in a pan and saute the onion.  Drain the potatoes and add them to the pan.  Sprinkle the seasoning throughout until all the potatoes look dirty.  Stick to your resolution!