Spring Break!

Hi darlings!  It's Spring Break time, and guess where I'm headed......here's a clue:

TOTALLY not me.  My bikini was black.

That's right.  Florida.

I'm going to see my dad, Jerry.  When he's not too busy kicking cancer's ass, he works in his amazing garden.  I'll post some recipes straight from the garden next week.  In the meantime, here's a recipe from my dad:

Worth the Garlic Breath

Just made up a really delicious mock Caesar salad.  Why "mock"?  Because I left out the anchovies.  Why leave out the anchovies?  Because hairy, greasy fish just ain't my thang.

OK, let's do this:

Fishless Caesar
total time 5 min


for the dressing:
1/4 c mayo
2 t mustard
3 cloves garlic, minced
juice from 1 lemon
1 t soy sauce
cracked black pepper
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Romaine lettuce, chopped
these croutons
handful of parmesan cheese, shredded

Combine the dressing ingredients and toss over lettuce and croutons.  Sprinkle with cheese.  (Were these instructions necessary?.....)

I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours.

Put your underwear back on, weird-o.

I went downstairs to the farmers' market today.  Is there a farmers' market where you live?  What do you buy?

Send pictures to CookStupidEasy@gmail.com - tell me where you're from and what's in season where you are!

Fresh mint, oregano, basil, thai broccoli, thai basil, zucchini, straw flowers and carnations

Weekend Calorie Splurge: Blueberry Muffins

These are SO. GOOD.

I did the math.  It breaks down to 1 T sugar per muffin.  Not exactly healthy, but much better than other muffin recipes.  Besides, these muffins are for the weekend.  Health takes a break on the weekend in our house.  Wine consumption, however, never sleeps.

OK, let's do this:

Blueberry Muffins
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes 12 muffin
total time 35 min


5 T unsalted butter , softened
2/3 c sugar
1 large egg
3/4 c full fat plain yogurt
1 T lemon zest
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1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 c blueberries, fresh or frozen (if frozen, simply rinse off any ice)

Preheat oven to 375ºF.  Line a muffin tin with 12 paper liners.

Combine butter and sugar in your little food processor and run until fluffy.  Add egg, then yogurt and lemon.  Transfer to a mixing bowl.

Combine dry ingredients with a sifter or whisk.  Slowly mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients.

 Fill muffin tins 3/4 of the way.  Bake for 25 min.  Enjoy with butter and coffee.

How to Keep Your Car Seats Looking Great

It's approximately 147ºF here in LA.  All I'm craving is sangria and cold, hearty salads.

I was going to do an orzo salad, but realized I didn't have any orzo and couldn't imagine getting back in the car.  Let's just work with what we have so I don't leave crotch-sweat stains on the upholstery of my car.

OK, let's do this:

Mediterranean Quinoa Salad
makes about 5 cups
total time 20 min

1 cup quinoa, rinsed thoroughly
1 3/4 c water
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for the dressing:
3 T olive oil
2 T red wine vinegar
zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves garlic (I used Gerraro's Marinated Greek Garlic)
1/2 small red onion, diced small
salt & pepper, to taste
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2 handfuls fresh parsley, chopped roughly
1 handful fresh oregano, chopped roughly 
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup artichoke hearts
1/2 cup roasted bell pepper, chopped
1/2 cup black olives, pitted & chopped
1/2 cup feta, crumbled (optional)

Boil the water, add quinoa, reduce heat and simmer about 10 min.  Once it's done, place it in a bowl and put it in the freezer while you prep the other stuff.  Stir it a couple times in the freezer to help it cool faster.

Combine the dressing ingredients (you can just do this in the same bowl you're serving it in).  Add the cooled quinoa and stir in the remaining ingredients.

Mango Salsa

It's really hard to come up with anything funny to say about mangoes.  Chris Kattan tried and look what happened:

 

Nobody likes you, Chris Kattan.  You either, J. Lo.

But Mango Salaso...That we like.  A lot.

OK, let's do this:

Stupid Easy Mango Salsa
makes 3 cups
total time 5 min

2 ripe mangoes, peeled, cubed
1/2 serrano chili, minced
juice of 1 lime
handful cilantro, chopped
1/2 small red onion, diced small
salt, pepper, to taste

Combine all ingredients.  Serve with tortilla chips and margaritas, and without Chris Kattan.

Gee Your Pee Smells Terrific!

Asparagus is one of my favorite veggies in the whole world.  It only takes a few minutes to make.  Plus it makes your pee smell which can be a great party trick or conversation starter.

OK, let's do this:

Poached eggs over asparagus
total time 10 min

1 t white vinegar
1 T olive oil
1 handful asparagus, woody ends trimmed
salt, to taste
bread for toast
1 egg
1 T parmesan cheese, shredded

Bring a pot of water plus 1 teaspoon of plain vinegar to a boil.

Heat the oil in a pan and add asparagus.  Cook, stirring frequently, until tender (about 4 min).  Add salt to taste.

While asparagus is cooking, make toast and poach the egg.

To poach an egg, simply turn the heat on the water down so that it's still boiling, but not a big, crazy rolling boil.  Crack an egg into a ladle.  Stir the water with a spoon so it spins around like a toilet flushing.   Drop in the egg while the water is spinning.  Now leave it alone.  Cook for 3-4 min.

Remove the egg with a slotted spoon and place on top of the asparagus.  Sprinkle with a little shredded parmesan or asiago cheese and serve with toast.